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Loosing You
Your arms are home to me, and my heart beats synced with yours.
Your smile is my sun shine and your laugh my happiness.
You were my rainbow on a rainy day, but now it’s like your fading into the rain.
Why are you letting this happen to us? Why am I fighting to save us while you sit back and wave goodbye?
I’m not the only one who cares. I hope.
I can scream louder than we’ve ever fought and no one but you could hear me. I could punch walls till my fist bleed and no one would know the pain but you.
I could cry but I’m invisible to the world, only you can save me.
Only you can love me the way you do. Can’t you see I need you? I know you need me.
I know I found a part of you you didn’t know you had.
I know it’s a lot and it’s scary but I love you. So so much.
I want your sleepy smiles in the morning and your tight hugs when I’m sad.
I want to hear you complain about how loud I am and how I smell like coffee.
I want it all so bad that I feel like without it I’m nothing.
I sacrificed so much for you, are you blind?
Please don’t let it go, I need you.
I keep saying I’m fine.
I keep crying myself to sleep because I know that you’re okay and I don’t know how.
I’m suffocating.
You’re the only person that’s entered my life that I need to stay.
You’re the only one I love.
The only one I’ve said the things I’ve said to.
Now you’ve stabbed me. A million times. And acted like you’re the one bleeding.
The pain I’m in you’ll never understand.
To pretend you’re the one hurting is undoubtedly worse than a million daggers to my heart.
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I am a student athlete, and value family above all. Facing depression often allows me to create an idea in my head that despite all the people around me I am alone. When loosing someone who made me feel not alone I can’t recover.