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Cherry Pits
I don’t need you
stomach dropping, knees bent
just to make you like me
funny words and laughing needles
spew from my mouth
but nothing actually seems
to make you like me
asking again
and no one responds
and the next day I see
everyone has forgotten
about me
twisting spine and arching arms
just make you embrace me
into your little
circle
I don’t need you
because my time
is not worth cherry
pits in my stomach
tumbling around in the
acid that builds up from
your lemonade-coated insults
splitting my face
open to always look happy
and teeth gleaming in the sunlight
so you feel comfortable
and I feel like I belong
I don’t need you
I tell myself, but
the next day my
traitorous legs will
go running back to
snake tongues that tastes my
sweet sweat
And I need you.
But I don’t want to.
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Fake friends are pretty much everywhere. And I desperately want to feel accepted even if it's toxic. They mistreat me over and over again, but in the end, I stay friends with them because fake friends are better than being alone. I'm forgotten all the time, excluded, and I keep hoping they will change. But now, I've realized, I'm the one who needs to stand up for myself.