Sitting around eating beer nuts
Extinguishing cigarette butts
As attempts are made to start obligated conversation
About fumbles in football and the state of our nation
Never mentioning that you never call
All the while my hideous holiday dress
Of suffocating satin and artificial charm
Is crushing my lack there of breasts
In a pathetic attempt to create the slightest hint of cleavage
Sitting here plotting my revenge on the sadistic prick who created holidays
A celebration of yesterdays with synthetic smiles
Illuminating long weekend masquerades
A never-ending parade of household soirees