Why change when you can enchant

Your children with charming chains.

Go on. Take a seat on your stubborn chair,

Then challenge yourself to check over your choices

Before choosing to ask for another chance.

Having a hard time?

“It’s because you made a mistake.

This wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t [act] that way.”

So, so, sorry there exists a perfect image

Of me in your morphed-up memory

I fail to achieve.

Ask more! Ask more! C’mon ask more of me!

If I still retain my sanity,

It wouldn’t make sense to just leave me be!

But please, praytell;

What’s the secret on becoming

Responsible and dependent, simultaneously?

You must know! You must know!

C’mon why aren’t you answering me!

Is it right that if I obey, I’ll be okay,

But to let go, if I may,

Will only result in being thrown away?

“Hold my hand. Let me guide you through life.

You won’t know pain since I’m helping you stand.

You’ll stumble and tumble and fall once you let go of that hand.”

Such enticing, exciting, exhilarating words!

But did you know

I’m already familiar with pain?

Your tenacious presence I’m unable to ignore,

Around a hand that’s weaker, smaller, and more fragile than yours,

Has built up a shackled-scar more fearful than falling.

You don’t realize the strength you use

With hands that have been worn down by exhaustion and labor,

So I say that it’s due to becoming impalpable for my own favor.

But when begs and pleads no longer succeed,

You still don’t understand why I’m unhappy?

I know that I’m speaking,

Yet, why can’t you hear me?

We’re connected, but when did this barrier between us appear?

My acquaintance with pain is not a visible thing;

And it intensifies through your ‘love’ for me.

That is if your love is not hate, but your hate is love.

Retreating against the wall,

My back aches and my muscles stiffen.

Congratulations! I am closer to becoming your perfect doll.

Plan the future out for her—

And while you’re at it,

Decide on a pretty grave for her. 

Engrave on her tombstone: “Here she sleeps peacefully.”

Since I have reasonable doubt 

That even in death, she won’t be free.

Until then, she looks out her beautifully-decorated, barred windows

And patiently waits for her and Paralysis to meet.

If we can sell our bodies,

Why not our lives? 

Oh, you're almost out of yours? Here’s mine.

So if he ever asks, don’t lie. She gave her life willingly.

Because how could she die tranquilly,

Knowing who she loves could suffer from guilt and anxiety.

And with that,

She concluded her decision

And greeted Paralysis expectantly.

Epilogue:

Ever since, Paralysis has taught me:

Life and the vessels that carry it have expirations,

But my mind will forever remain my own.