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Honesty
April 30, 2021
You want honesty?
Here it is.
My smile is fake,
My heart aches.
I feel alone and dark,
You can't see,
The real marks.
The real me is hiding,
But at school it shows,
At home a dark side,
Is unleashed.
Honestly,
I have no clue,
What me is real anymore,
That's honesty.
© Sarah S., Poland Spring, ME
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This article has 7 comments.
SparrowSun ELITE said...
on May. 14 2021 at 12:06 am
warrior would be a good one.
SparrowSun ELITE said...
on May. 14 2021 at 12:05 am
well heres something, use as few words as possible and choose the words you use to have as much meaning and as many connections as possible. don't just use words that have a meaning, use words that connect to a web of things in the readers mind. like a webs of threads, and when you use that word it pulls loads of them. like home. for people who arent in an abusive home, and as a general culture, the word home connects to family, love, safety. whereas house is just a word, it implies the building. try taking a poem you wrote and cutting out literally every word that doesn't add to your meaning, and then change the words to mean more and be powerful, maybe with a thersausus, and then go back and add any extra words to make it sound better.
WolvesRain ELITE said...
on May. 11 2021 at 7:47 am
I need help just making them better in general, improving the message it sends, making it stronger and more meaningful.
I like how you said that real honesty is not even being sure what is true and what is a lie. You might wanna clarify who is the you addressed by the narrator of this poem. Is it an obnoxious relative? The whole world? A parent? What is the dark side, and how does this unleash? I hope it's not like an evil Jedi from Star WArs type. You don't have to answer all these questions, but there they are to think about. If you could tell me what exactly u need help with about yer poems, i'd appreciate that.
WolvesRain ELITE said...
on May. 5 2021 at 9:36 am
I plan on staying and I am really grateful for all the comments
SparrowSun ELITE said...
on May. 4 2021 at 2:16 pm
it is rly cool tho.
i hope you stay on ti, the first few days of having an account are the ones in which vetrans are certain you'll quit, and with the forums gone the chances are doubled. i hope youprove me wrong.
i hope you stay on ti, the first few days of having an account are the ones in which vetrans are certain you'll quit, and with the forums gone the chances are doubled. i hope youprove me wrong.
SparrowSun ELITE said...
on May. 4 2021 at 2:15 pm
that's relatable to any infj(im an enfp/infp, but regardless). oh, yeah, and people its abt lol
This is about the deepest feelings and thoughts of someone who might be going through a lot and how important it is to consult someone when you feel this way.