I hate the way you talk to me

I hate the way you look at me 

I hate the way you make me feel 

But what i hate the most is the fact that i don't hate you, not even a little bit

Not even at all

I still remember when our eyes locked sights for the first time

How i  thought you were the one 

And i just can't forgive myself for wanting the one thing i can't have 

Like the journey to the unknown and yet i still want to follow it

But how can i see light when i'm in the dark without a guide

You were my guide

My love

My family

My life

You are the air that i breathe

Its like oxygen has gone extinct 

The atmosphere has dissolved in this starless galaxy where our love used to be 

I try to move on in places where it consumes my soul

The soul that you poisoned once you touched 

I want to hate you

For you took the only  thing i had left of myself

And right now as i'm sitting in a picnic table trying to write about what i see, i can only think of you

I see you, i feel you

I want to be with you

The only thing i cant have i want

I saw the roses and ignored the thorns 

I was amazed at the sight of the house you built, i ignored

The closed windows, the locked doors 

I let myself drown in an ocean of sorrow 

The sorrow im trying to heal because now its clear 

It was never me 

but the seed you implanted within