How I Wish To Love This World

Shell is my shield,

Indifference is my sword,

To fight back the enemy called world.

Darkness is where I belong,

Hide no more evil and desire.

Light blurs my view,

Let the night devour the dawn.

You see you took all I have under the light,

So I know warmth and love are a beautiful mirage.

You see you abandoned me in the shabby basement,

So I stare at the ceiling until I am blind.

I see how life can be in other ways,

Love and be loved,

Pleasure and utility,

Make you broken, make you fixed,

Make you fixed, make you broken.

But I am tired of being thrown away,

Smashed into millions of pieces that shine like starry night.

I am tired of obeying the way how this world works,

Stand right on the road to block others’ way,

When sun shines in a lovely midnight.

Emotion hurts,

Humanity reveals,

Audience to the film of my life from beginning to end.

Sunshine burns,

Light blurs my view,

No one is to keep my head above water.

Memories hit,

Rainbow stands alone ,

I see the color of my life,

I engage in the film in very last breath.

To feel what it feels to be human,

To look at the distance and have hope,

To smile and have someone in heart,

To speak and be heard,

To stretch out my arms and feel the warmth, the wind, the blood, the dream,

To dance in the rain,

To laugh in the bar,

To stare at my image in the mirror,

And smile, with tear over my face, with blood over my head, with dirt over my body, with wounds over my flesh, with labels over my bones, with monitors over my soul.

Knowing that I have nothing,

Knowing that I have everything,

Knowing that how I’ve always wished to love this world.