As she walks by, my heart skips a beat.

Once for her gleaming, dimpled smile,

And once for the child in my belly, disappearing.

Once for the way her olive eyes squint at the whiteboard,

And once for the culture that may now hate me.

Once for the blonde hair that brushes her shoulders,

And once for the wedding with a future husband.

Once for the kindness she generously spreads,

And once for the assumptions that will no longer be true.

Once for the witty jokes she cracks,

And once for the obsolete father-daughter events.

And once for the disappointment in my family’s eyes.

And once for the friends I will lose to a holy scripture.

And once for the safety I would have felt on a date.

And once for the rainbows with a new meaning.

And once for the boy I had pretended to like.

And once.

And once.

And once.

And once again for the life I had imagined.

Flawless, Easy, Straight.

My heart has skipped too many beats,

That heterosexual dream is dead now.

But then she walks by

And I am resuscitated.

My heart beats.

Once for the new life I can begin.