Lines | Teen Ink

Lines

December 14, 2021
By AutumnBisping GOLD, Oshkosh, Wisconsin
AutumnBisping GOLD, Oshkosh, Wisconsin
12 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Sometimes I slide the silver over my thigh

And then I feel alright.

Lines of red dotting out and spilling down.

And I feel alright.

But it’s just a moment or two where

The sadness or the numbness slips away.

And I feel alright

It takes my mind off of everything hurting me emotionally for a day or two

Because every time a sibling or a friend sits on my lap being playful, 

I feel the lines opening again.

And then I don’t feel so great anymore.

But at least the other thoughts are gone,

The ones telling me to just walk or maybe sprint into traffic.

When those thoughts come I don’t feel so okay 

So I take the silver blade once again, sliding it across

1, 2, 3, 4, 5 … 18 times

And then I feel alright 

Just for a moment.


The author's comments:

Visit https://www.teenink.com/HealthResources if you or a loved one is feeling depressed, overwhelmed, inclined to self-harm, or suicidal. 

I wrote this poem about a time in my life when I used self-harm as my coping mechanism, the numbers "1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 18 times" was written that way because that's how many permanent lines I've counted on my legs each time I remembered that they were there. I don't cope this way anymore, I've found better ways but seeing the scars sometimes open my head to the memories and feelings of it.


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