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Saturday Night Sirens
I’ve got my girl, I’ve got my drugs
Do me a favor and save yourself first, love
You shouldn’t mix uppers and downers
I learned that last weekend when the pounding in my head was in rhythm with the dull thud in my chest
Do you know the name of that song that played from the living room while we held onto the couch?
It hasn’t come to me but i heard the birds sing it this morning in a hungover haze
If you love something, give it away
I’ve got my girl, I ain’t got no money
Unless you count the thirty dollars in my bedside drawer
Saved up for the paper that burns on my tongue
The shapes and colors tell me to be someone
If it’s bitter, it’s a spitter
That’s what they told us all
But this thing we’ve got going glows even in my weakest bone
If you love something, let it go
I’m doing lines in that bathroom with the door that no longer shuts
He said that someone broke it apart last month
It’s a haunting reminder of how these things can go so south
Pointing that compass to where I’m still forbidden to go
This is the soundtrack for a winter of bloodshot eyes and all the sweat in my bed
I can't get this festering thing out of my head
If you love something, bury it dead
Will it be like in the movies?
Will they play the music loud?
Will the television buzz sing me to sleep
Or will we be nowhere in the now
I made out with a ghost
I made love to a memory
You’re plastered, my pupils are as big as the moon
I found a liquid cure for my lake Michigan blues
And she still loves me, even in the dead of winter
I couldn’t let this go even if I wanted to
I shot myself in the mirror but the bullets only shattered the glass
If you love something, let this pass
This thing eats away at your willingness to behave
The sour smell of rotted flesh and broken hearts fill the room
It seeps outside and slips on the driveway on the way out
The clothes all over my floor now have a few pieces of yours
You’d think after all these years I’d learn to clean up after myself
But tidiness gets me nowhere, it’s only on the outside
Cleaning myself up won’t make me brand new
If you love something, let it consume you
I’ve got my girl, I’ve got my drugs
But she doesn’t know about all of the fun that I have after midnight just down the road
I’ll find you a way out of your head if you just stay the night
The moon lays low over this old radio
Your smile is hazy and the boys are fighting outside
Our friend passed out in the bathtub about half an hour ago
Enough is enough
Trace the constellations on my neck
If you love someone, keep smoking to death
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Self destruction begins to feel like home after time. Its habitual, comforting, and no matter how far you spiral, it feels safe because it is the devil you know. When someone who doesn't constantly self sabotage enters your life, it can feel like an invasion despite their good intentions. You can't stop doing what you're doing, and you don't even want to, but the idea of hurting them with your behavior, or worse, influencing them with your behavior, is haunting. How do you find balance? Do you get clean and indulge in a healthy, honest relationship, or do you hide the reality from them?