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Depression
A pit in the depths of an ocean
Suffocating, stressed, scared.
You sink deeper into the indeterminable
depth of despair. Boxed in without
an exit in sight drown or struggle,
try or give up. Trying to escape
drowning goes one of two ways.
Struggling causes sadness and
depression yet you can try to
Escape your fate. Sink or float? If
You give in and allow the dark in, you
Lose the pain of disappointment.
Then you gain the inner feeling of
Emptiness: no longer enraged,
engaged, or hoping to be saved. You
allow yourself to sink further you
become an empty shell: a cave with
the struggles of life filling your
beaten-down body. Barely being
functional you sink further trying
to accept being broken. Degrading
yourself, your ideas, and feelings.
Giving up is allowing yourself to drown,
deluding yourself. No one can truly
accept their drowning. Acceptance and
avoidance are very different. If you
continue to fight from the dark bone-chilling waters of life searching for air
: then allowing yourself help when you
need it. That is acceptance. Now
avoidance is a dark and twisted thing.
When they are drowning the avoiders
believe they can’t escape so they let life
suffocate them. Declining help due to the
sick feeling they get telling them they are fine.
This will only cause greater pain in the
end when you look up barely seeing hints
of the light you once had as you realize
you’ve sunk too far to be saved. That is the
difficult reality of life you can be floating
above the water carefree. Though one
wave, one life-crushing, a wild wave can
kill someone. Since many believe things
will only get worse if they survive that
wave. Many think giving up on one
challenge is unimaginable even if they at times
are just stalling their death. There are many
waves in life that will nearly drown you
And though I will not lie to you the struggle
for air will feel devoid of meaning and
without the sweet escape of death
you will suffer. Wait, struggle, suffer.
The feeling of finally catching your breath
is of bliss and relief. The sight of the sun
and happy faces will no longer fill you
with disdain instead, you will focus on the
scent of salt and the warm breeze on
your face. That is joy. The sound of the rushing
water continuing on and the laughter of
those that escaped its grips and those who
have not yet felt it. That is joy. It may take years
but if you wait and imagine the sweet
release of pain you will be thankful you
went through the days or years of emptiness.
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Constantly I compared the ocean to life and its challenges, the process of nearly drowning to depression, suicide to drowning, a cave to the empty feeling often accompanied by depression, and then the sun to relief or joy. I hope it evokes an emotional response and I hope it gives readers who struggle with depression deeper insight into their situation to steer them away from suicide in hopes of once again being joyful.