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black sheep
a 3-hour visit to your toll-gate that charges
more than just cash pressing allegations
and compliments not meant for me. perhaps we both fear
of talking and the bland taste of a family your
walls incarnadined with the chunlian i sent you
i am no more than the leftovers of festivity
reclining on to a chunk of glue but corners torn
and dilapidated. the characters’ serifs extend beyond the
edge of the oriental red rebellious and crass
— i am nothing of your standards.
sitting bolt upright as if waiting for my judgment
yet who are you to pronounce my verdict? our stars
never crossed our bias not overturned
you would say don’t try too hard perhaps
wishing for your burdens to be lifted your words
a mortal arrow entailing a trail of thread but never
surpasses it encircling the chateau you fabricated
so meticulously what does it mean to be an
outsider? perchance the mannequin you
cold-shouldered the smut on the floorboard
revelations got us tongue-tied waipo
when can we both mature and confess that
you only love to
hate me.
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Translations
Chunlian: a pair of poetic lines written vertically in black ink on red paper and pasted on either side of the door during the Chinese Lunar New Year.
Waipo: maternal grandmother.