I.
Boy with more scar tissue than skin
Boy who first wore the band-aids as a badge of honor
Boy with bags under his eyes
Boy who wants to kneel in church
Boy who no longer talks to the moon
Boy who used to be a bookworm
Boy who doesn't know who he is

II.
I used to know a boy
always afraid of taking up space
always apologizing for existing
He hated himself so loudly
sentenced book-ended with sorrys
He thought if he hated himself first
It would hurt less if
It would hurt less when
It would hurt less to be hated by
someone else
He hated himself so loudly
He protected himself with apathy but
being numb is worse than being hurt
and when you hate yourself that loudly
you can't hear all the good
Hating yourself doesn't make it hurt any less
Just means when they leave you've got
one less person on your side
square your shoulders
this is boyhood -
you are bred and raised with a wolf inside you
why apologize for its fangs?

III.
I can't tell if I actually like this person
or if I just like the way he makes me forget you