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Records on Repeat
Love is a scratched record
Repeating the same painful tune without fail
Having learned this the first go,
I continued to try despite the ache.
Despite the warnings that show.
The fear that engulfs one upon releasing control.
I continue to piece myself together each time after,
using nothing but my hands and false hope.
The hope of one day receiving the love I allocate,
despite being left with the trauma made by the beatings to my heart.
So let me learn for my new love
all that I am unknowing of.
Let me learn how to receive love,
without the expectations of them wanting something.
Let me learn to open up. When I am left in panic
let me learn to confide in him.
Let me learn that love is beautiful again,
And feel the warmth it welcomes
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We tend to grow accustomed to toxic environments. Learning the patterns we are presented with, and how to tread lightly upon subjects they do not like. We lose boundaries trying to please them and love them. Then when suddenly presented with a healthy honest relationship we are left not knowing what to do; left with nothing but an abused mind and shaky boundaries. We have to learn how to trust and understand again. Learn the patience and work that actually goes into a healthy relationship. Learn to love, fully and honestly.