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dirty little secrets
Oh God it was real, you were so real
You touched me and every nerve in my body lit up like a thousand stars
I look for that electricity when I stare into the sun, when I try new drugs
When I set myself on fire just to see if you come running to extinguish me
And oh I hate it
I hate the blank look on your face and the forced smiles when I repeat the same stupid jokes because they used to make us laugh
And I hate myself for ever believing that maybe I'd be your first taste of real love
But its the first drop of blood as you pull the knife from my chest
I made my heart an opened container for you
Let you choke down every last drop of love I had to give
I hope to God it burns when it comes back up, when this all catches up to you
I'm holding onto the pieces of a torn rope and I'm asking you to tie them back together
You just sigh and place your hands on my shoulders
But if only you knew, oh God if only you knew
How I knew from the night we met that I'd spend the rest of my days missing you
You want secrets? I have a secret
Someone had to leave first, its a tale as old as time
But I wish it could've been me
Come back to me, come back even if its as a shadow or a dream
Come back even if it means I can only have you in my sleep
Come home to my heart, let me lay in your bed
I'll play with your hair and whisper soft nonsense into your ear
Come back, but only if you'll stay
Because the truth is that I'm afraid of making your love too important
We can't deny that you'll always be the one to leave
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So I'll wait for you / and I'll burn