I hate this,

I hate everything about this,

I hate that this is what’s slowing me down.

I hate that this one stupid thing is what’s stopping me.

I hate the feeling I get when I think about this,

And I hate that is thing gets to control me.

This “thing” that im talking about,

This “thing” is my brain.

The very thing that is my existence.

This is unfair,

This is not safe, 

But this, this is me

And I can't do nothin’ about it.

I've tried to stop,

I've tried to cut it out literally and physically,

I've also just tried to end it and shut it up for once,

But I couldn't bring myself to do it.

I don't know how much I can do this anymore,

It's just difficult to even think about everything I could do,

Everything I did wrong,

Or everything that could've gone wrong in that moment.

I haven't tried to cut it out or even end it in a while,

Which is good I guess but sometimes im on the verge,

Sometimes it I need to do it sometimes its a relief,

Sometimes it's just easier.

I hate this..