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Sacrifice
It happened in winter, this
Sacrifice of yours
More silent than the barren earth
More still than the frigid rivers
Your pain
Sealed, drowned, suffocated
Under an ice-cold oxygen mask
Strain with your ears, grandma
Above the unyielding murk
Can you hear the wind
Snapping through branches
Leaving broken limbs behind?
Tattered leaves flurrying
Like dry crackles of a flame
Gnawing hopelessly at
Your last tinder
Heat from the fire
Licking
Sucking
Parching your veins of blood
Hospital room stuffed full
Sighs, sorrows, suffering
Bedridden bodies
Hoping for spring
In a place where spring never comes
Always
Was the meaning of your name
Yet you were trapped in a room
Disinfected of always
And plagued
By NEVER
You were sacrificed, grandma
Dust thrust into the air
Heat trickling from
Ashes
I thought your fingers would always
Make flowers bloom under a needle
I thought you
Would always stitch me together
The way grass mends cracked earth
After a frugal winter
Strain with your ears, grandma
Above the unyielding murk
Can you hear the wind
Caressing the branches
Leaving buds behind?
Spring is here, grandma
But you stayed frozen under snowy sheets
Lips still purpled with the frosted kiss
Of an ever-lasting winter
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My grandmother's death could have been avoided... She got a fractured hip in October 2022 from falling at home, was sent into a closed sanitarium (where family can't visit patients) for better recovery, and things were going well until December, when sudden changes in COVID policy caused the virus to spread like wildfire and infected most people in Beijing, including my grandma. She spent a few painful weeks in hospital and eventually passed away... Worse, due to the strict COVID regulations of the hospital's ICU, family members were not allowed to visit, so I did not get a chance to see her one last time before she was gone. If she hadn't felt dizzy and fallen... If we hadn't sent her to the sanitarium... IF the COVID policies could have changed just two weeks later than they did... Do you blame us, grandma?