Dear Mom,

What I really wanted to say is, I have forgotten how to

giggling smiling, make up dances just for you

use my whole hand to grasp onto just your pinky finger

hang onto your words like they're the edge of a cliff

to listen, listen, listen

I'm not sure why but it seems as if I can't

willingly give you my ears anymore

hand you my half of the clementine

my sunshine

What I really want to say is, I have forgotten that 

you are me And I am you

you gave me my cheetah tongue

unapologetically loud mind

blonde strands

pores and toes 

we both talk in capital letters 

and expect the entire world to be at our command

What I really want to say is, Mom, I am so exhausted

Exasperated

I'm dying to put down my weapons but

I don't even know where they came from 

or why I ever decided to use them

I'm sorry, I'm sorry 

I am so sorry

I love you and 

I want to find the brightest can of paint

and splash it all over my life

to create new colors 

Just like you did.