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not enough room
only enough room for three on this crumbling sidewalk
only enough room for nine at the dirty table
only enough room for a few confident voices
only enough room for a few loud laughs
only enough room for one group
only enough room for one more
only enough room to choose another
only enough room but never enough
for me.
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My friends and I are often left out of larger groups and it weighs on us. I know it weighs on me, but I see the hurt on their faces too. I feel the frustration and the sadness, and I feel the disappointment. Each emotion rings like a gong in my chest, like a broken glass in my heart, when they avert their eyes or wring their hands. I know they feel the same way about me. This is just a little poem I wrote when I was feeling low after constantly being left out of the fun and left out of the bigger group. It's sad that it's something that I'm used to, and it's frustrating that I still get upset by it. I suppose that still shows I care, though.