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I sound like
TW- mentions of self harm and definitive struggles with mental health.
if you feel alone or need help, always feel free to call or text 988 or a trusted suicide hotline.
I sound like
A broken record
With every word
I say
“I’m sorry
Please”
“I love you
Please”
“Don’t leave me
Please”
I’m a
Broken
Record
So don’t leave
Me when
I say
That
I’m having trouble wanting
To live
Another day
I’m used
I’m scratched
But
Doesn’t mean
I’m useless
Yet i get thrown
Discarded
Cracked and
Broken
Scratched
And i
Replay parts
And
I don’t know
If it makes you angry
But
It’s just my
Second nature.
I ask
But
I have no
Idea if
You’re telling
Me
The truth
Are you
Lying
Should
I be
Scared
And
Alone instead
A terminal
Kind of fear
Permanent
Against the backdrop
Of
Uncertantiy
Is there
Something wrong
With me
That
Drives people
Away
Right person
Wrong way
Wrong person
Wrong way
Wrong everything
Wrong
Wrong
Wrong
Wrong
Wrong
Stuck on repeat
It’s a cycle
It never ends
I’m trying to get it
To
stop
But
It doesn’t work
Am i stuck this way
Can i be fixed
Am i alone forever
Am i just bad at
Relationships
Am i just
Misunderstood
Am i worth
Anything at all
To anybody
Does anybody really love
Me
As a friend
A sibling
A lover
As a
Person
In
A world
Just
Trying to
Make it
Out alive.
I try and fit in but I stand
Out too much
I try and stand
Out
But I disappear like
I never
Mattered
Is this the
Eternal pain
I’ve been sentenced
To
Is this
Why
I
Need
Validation
Reassurance
Constantly
Do i just
Disappoint
Instead of bringing
Something
To the table
What is this world
And why
Am i
stuck.
So i cut
My wrists
And i watch the
Blood
Roll down
My arm
And
My pain
Temporarily vanishes
Just
For
One
Moment.
Then it’s gone
Again
And then
I replay
The same part
Over
Over
Over
Over
Over
Over and
Over
Over
Again
And my friends say
Stop
And
I try
But it
Doesn’t work
And i
Could try
And make it sound
Pretty
And nice
And in
A neat
Little
Package
Of flowery
Prose
I push
Others away
While
I beg
Plead,
Even
For them to
Stay
And
I know
It’s a
Problem and
I’m trying
Trying
Trying
Trying
Trying
Trying
To get
Over with it
To end
It
But it’s a cycle and
It happens
Over
Over
Over
Over
Over
Over
And
Over
And
Over
And over
In my own eternal prison
I take my
Meds
But it
Doesn’t work
I’m scared of everything
I’m too
Anxious to be
Alive
In this world
I’m too
Sad
To allow change
I’m
Too
Broken
Scratched
And used
And
Worthless
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This is a very very personal peace. A lot has happened in a week. And I guess this is just my way to cope.