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When I'm Grasping for a Purpose
What words are there to heal a broken heart?
What medicine can fix these broken parts?
The bright but terrifying future, with a million possibilities
What difference can I make, even to the fullest extent of my abilities?
Nothing suffocates like the desperation of hopelessness
Do I really have a purpose, or am I just a display of worthlessness?
I don't know anymore, I'm lost, scared and confused
Am I truly loved most times, or generally just used?
Am I nothing but a failure, or do I hold value?
What motivation is there to keep pulling me through?
Why does life have to be so much hurt?
Where can I go to find comfort?
These questions echo through my head
In a never-ending thread
Pulling me deeper and deeper down
When I thought I'd already drowned
I'll never find my way out
I tell myself, filled by doubt
As the dark starts closing in
I'm reminded once again
When a bright light breaks through the dark
Separating the water and splitting apart
A hand reaches through
Gentle and true
The figure is surrounded by light
Giving my heart a will to fight
Against the suffocating pain
As it's calling out my name
The figure's voice is louder than the fear
As he whispers "Do not fear,"
It appears to be a Shephard, a servant dressed in robe or cloak
Certainly not a warrior who could save a soul so broke
Or could it be?
As I look to see,
Though a servant figure was who I saw displayed, pulling me from the deep
The light surrounding him gave the aura of a king, or something heavenly
The word of truth comes back to me
Filling my mind quickly see
And I remember all I was taught
When I felt I could continue not
I do have a purpose
I am not worthless
As the air feels thinner
Yes I'm a sinner
But I'm a sinner God died to save
I'm a sinner saved by grace
Given hope through Jesus Christ
Who gave up glory to die and give us life
I feel it swell in my chest, and light my eyes with tears, as I gaze up into the Shephard's eyes
I do have a purpose, Jesus cares, he's there, and he's saving me again, I realize
I've given my life to Jesus, and that's not something doubt can take
Sure it can weigh me down and make me feel like I have to break
But I can withstand
Holding the Shephard's hand
So I let his words ring through my head and chase away the dark
As he holds me and promises he's always there so there's no need to fall apart
I hold to my King's promise and let my tears fall to his hands
Because I don't need to hold myself together, cause it's for him that I stand
So thank you God, for being my firm foundation
And when I drown, you come help me re-station
Myself firmly so I don't fall
And you're always there when I call
I don't need to feel worthless
I have a purpose
So doubt and fear try your best, but I'm guarded forever
Cause I've given my life to the hands of the Good Shephard
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I get so caught in the thick of doubt, and being absorbed in the hard in life, sometimes I lose myself in it. It feels like there's no way out. And the only thing that's broke me out of that thick is God, and his grace and merciful undeserved love. And his word, the bible. It's only truth that lights the way in the dark. And when I'm stuck and feel like I'm drowning, I reach for my God, for my King, for my Shephard, and he's there. He'll never let you down.