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exile MAG

September 17, 2009
By Christos Schrader BRONZE, Wyckoff, New Jersey
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Christos Schrader BRONZE, Wyckoff, New Jersey
3 articles 0 photos 0 comments
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the fiery sun beats down upon the sand,
a fallen king sits taking its abuse.
trapped in places no one understands,
his worth has faded from the years of use.
the time he’s spent here all amounts to naught,
frozen in the fires by the sea,
and, wrapped up in his solitary thoughts,
he’s stuck in limbo for eternity.
and over time he slowly fades away,
a shadow of the man he used to be.
the sand grows higher every single day,
and soon there will be nothing left to see,
unless some kindred soul’s haphazard glance
can catch the glint of bronze and take the chance.

© Madeleine C., Murrieta, GA

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 8 comments.

dia.dreamer GOLD said...
on Sep. 12 2011 at 11:30 am
dia.dreamer GOLD, Kochi, Other
10 articles 0 photos 145 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I saw an angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.&quot; - Michelangelo<br /> &quot;I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart: I am, I am, I am.&quot; - Sylvia Plath

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this is by the far, the best poem I've read in teenink. saying I loooovvveedd it is not enough. it's just everything I can ask for in a poem. it's amazing. you blow me away. your choice of words and metaphors and everything is just magnificent. please keep writing! :) -5 stars-
Stephanie Chen GOLD said...
on Dec. 9 2009 at 12:29 am
Stephanie Chen GOLD, Vancouver, Other
11 articles 0 photos 4 comments
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This is beautifully crafted! The rhymes are original! I love the flow of the words from one line to the other. It's great!
violetfaye BRONZE said...
on Oct. 5 2009 at 5:22 pm
violetfaye BRONZE, London, Other
1 article 0 photos 3 comments
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Wow, really liked that! As someone said before, nice flow and style
Giraffe2234 GOLD said...
on Sep. 21 2009 at 4:26 pm
Giraffe2234 GOLD, Marshall, Missouri
10 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
Dont be a hata. <br /> <br /> When you feel like giving think of what made you hang on this long. <br /> <br /> Tell your secrets. They free you.

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love this poem. its so unique. and whats haphazard?
FlamableFyre DIAMOND said...
on Sep. 18 2009 at 9:30 pm
FlamableFyre DIAMOND, Spartanburg, South Carolina
93 articles 9 photos 107 comments

Favorite Quote:
I don&#039;t have ambitions or desires. <br /> Being a poet isn&#039;t my ambition, <br /> it&#039;s my way of being alone.<br /> ~ Fernando Pessoa ~

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Wow, i loved it, it was so... i cant explain it! that was amazing!
Veritytrue SILVER said...
on Sep. 17 2009 at 9:57 pm
Veritytrue SILVER, LaVista, Nebraska
6 articles 0 photos 53 comments
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I think this is a really good poem. I like the way you did the rhyme scheme-- it gives the poem a good, rolling rhythm which workes well with the subject matter. It's very well written- good job!
XRamirez SILVER said...
on Sep. 17 2009 at 5:09 pm
XRamirez SILVER, Round Rock, Texas
8 articles 0 photos 3 comments
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"frozen in fires by the sea" sick line. I like this poem reminds me somewhat of my own writing style
LuckieMistake PLATINUM said...
on Sep. 17 2009 at 4:49 pm
LuckieMistake PLATINUM, Florence, Colorado
22 articles 1 photo 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;What doesn&#039;t kill me only, will make me stronger in my head...&quot; Papa Roach, Kick In The Teeth

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wow that was really good i liked ti alot!