today I sat outside
at school
instead of going to gym because
we had a sub

I sat all alone
and was all like
blown by the wind and watched
the birds and felt
meditative.

it was weird
like
there was no sound
almost none at all
like
no cars
and no people
and nothing
just like
wind
and leaves on pavement.

it felt like I was in an alternate
reality. Like a world without anything but me
and nature
and the wind.

it was really calm
and fluttery
then suddenly
it just whipped up and blew
my hood right off and I laughed
even though no one
could hear me.

and I realized that I don’t laugh
for my self as much
as I laugh for other people
like

when I laugh I’m usually stifling
or exaggerating it
for someone else’s sake.

I don’t think about it
I don’t resent it
but when its only for
the wind
its refreshing.