you shined like the stars | Teen Ink

you shined like the stars

December 28, 2009
By leboki69 SILVER, Yacolt, Washington
leboki69 SILVER, Yacolt, Washington
9 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Live for today because you never know when it will be taken away"


i love you more than you would ever know more than the stars love the night more than the sun loves the light i love you like the waves love the ocean all these things going together one another so i want you to be my wave and me your ocean i would like you to be my star in the black night i want you to be my sun so light and warm i love you like these things love eachother how they mesh with one another i want you to mesh with me your hand in mine and mine in yours


The author's comments:
I just want people to feel warmhearted or feel like this was them at one point.

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This article has 2 comments.


on Sep. 3 2010 at 5:10 am
leboki69 SILVER, Yacolt, Washington
9 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Live for today because you never know when it will be taken away"

I love you more than you would ever know, more than the stars love the night, more than the sun loves the light, I love you like the waves love the ocean, all these things going together one another. So i want you to be my wave and me your ocean, I would like you to be my star in the black night I want you to be my sun so light and warm. I love you like these things love eachother. How they mesh with one another i want you to mesh with me your hand in mine and mine in yours for this love will never fade i want you to be with me till the end. revised version cause i dont know how to go back and fix it

on Feb. 12 2010 at 12:44 am
It would read a lot better if there were some commas. It has a lot of color and vitality to it, but without any pauses, it rather slurs together into a mass that you can't make heads or tails out of. Add a few commas and capitals and it would probably come off beautifully!