Looking Inside-

Why are they so willing to give their hearts?
Why can’t I find my combination?
I know that they are not
All of them are not the one
But still I search
and take
and steal
I take without giving anything back
Fake, fake, fake is what I am
I never show what I really feel
Or what I really am to the others
A mask is what you see
Just another lie of this world
Just another shooting star
One that dies an instant after it is born
Just another…
All my treasures
Look back at me with haunting gazes
Asking
Pondering
Questioning why I am like this
Maybe it is only my own reflection
I ask myself if anything was real before
If I am living in an actual reality
Or if my memories of the past….
Were they real or was I dreaming them?
Was I living in a heaven and am I now in hell?
Am I one of the fallen
Trying to get back up
I can’t answer for sure
Because I do not know
I erased everything that was painful
Everything about my heaven
Only blurs remain
I have lived so long in the darkness
I welcome it now
It comforts me
The light only has its few moments
It is too bright to live in
I like the dark
I like to be alone
It is my new heaven
A heaven that I have made for myself