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cleanliness.
you always told me
that they were below me
that i didn't need them
that i was unique.
until all the shadows
turned into meadows
until my heartbeat
fell into a trap.
pulse
pulse
breath
you knew it was over
when the theater exploded
when the monsters of fiction
came out of the books
you said it was needed
that history repeated
that every word i ever spoke
was turned inside out
so i'm bleeding letters
and you're watching torture
i'm holding the dolphins
you're pausing your life.
when finally silent
the night complicates things
and out of the shadows
comes out my demise
i've planned it all out
i've dug my grave
ready
to dance on my tombstone
while i rot and burn
my heart
bruised purple
i've sung three words for you
you always told me
that i never shut up.
it's always about you
how needy and restless
your eloquence
and elegance
and self-explanation
just give me a reason
i'll pull the trigger
just say the word
and sometimes i wonder
is this all that matters?
you told me already
that love was a lie.
and when
in the darkness
a single blade glimmers
you told me that engines
were the souls of cars
and how does this matter?
but i still remember
the things that you promised
the times that you lied
you made me promise
to keep your secret
you knew i'd keep it
i have no one to tell.
but finally maybe
i've found a reason
for being
for seeing
for running from you
and when i deceived you
i lied and betrayed you
you hurt me
you cut my lungs open too
and now i am dying
but the pictures are clearer
i see the whole truth
coming up in the sky
it's blue like the silence
gold
like your eyes
but that shade of ochre
i'd never forget
and when you blinked
once
twice
thrice
dance!
eyes that
reflected the ceiling
that couldn't see
but i knew
you were faking
you could see
the chandelier
it rattled and shook
and fell from the hook
it fell onto you
the whole building
smoke
i couldn't see you
but i knew it was over
your immaculate clothing
was covered in dust
my hat off to you
but i'd rather not, really
who knows
perhaps
alive is alive.
and so
complicated
sedated
restricted
i went to the parlor
and had a nice drink
i waited and waited
half past the hour
you pulled the trigger
covered in blood
i guessed incorrectly
and now you are standing
directly above me
pay your respects
and while i am looking
because, yes, i can see you
it is quite eerie
how neat things can be
and so
ends the story
of suicide lovers
who broke thirteen glasses
four plates
and
one heart.
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"Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules, and they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with