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February 7, 2010
By Nikiblue PLATINUM, Bloomfield Hills, Michigan
More by this author
Nikiblue PLATINUM, Bloomfield Hills, Michigan
20 articles 0 photos 137 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Stupid Is As Stupid Does.&quot; -Forest Gump (;<br /> &quot;No one who achieves success does so without the help of others. The wise and confident acknowledge this help with gratitude.&quot;

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Sign here,
Sign there.
The blue ink ran across the lines of paper,
In swift movements, a little smudging here and there,
The man wrote down his name, finalizing it.

A tear escaped his long lashes,
Hitting the white paper, creating a crinkled circle.
He looked at his little girl in despair.
It would be the last time he would see those bouncing curls,
Those emerald eyes, tiny dimples, and worn out slippers.

The little girl frowned at her father,
The sight of him crying always tore at her fluttering heart.
She didn’t know why the big man in the gray suit had papers,
Or why Daddy was crying, but she wanted it all to go away.
She wanted to sit back at home on her swing, and Daddy pushing her.

“Gracie,” the man in the suit spoke, “Come with me.”
“Why?” the little girl replied defiantly.
“Because you’re going to the orphanage.”
The little girl turned to her Daddy, who was now sobbing,
And gave him a panicked look, which he only returned with a pained groan.

“Daddy, where is he going to take me?”
The man took her by her tiny arm,
And began to pull her away,
While her father sobbed, watching her being taken away.
“I love you, Gracie; I will get you back, honey. I promise!”
Those were the last words he spoke to his daughter,
And that was the last she saw of him.

© Allison M., Westport, MA

The author's comments:
This is about a little girl and her father. The father doesn't have enough money to pay for the two of them anymore, so he's forced to put her in an orphanage.
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This article has 11 comments.

the_sparrow SILVER said...
on Apr. 7 2011 at 5:34 pm
the_sparrow SILVER, Chicago, Illinois
8 articles 0 photos 51 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don&#039;t matter, and those who matter don&#039;t mind.&quot; -Dr. Seuss

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So sad, so beautiful! The beginning shows your skill; it definitely caught my attention. And it seems to put things in perspective...such a huge life-changing event is initiated from such a simple act. Love it :)
JohnDeereGirl DIAMOND said...
on Mar. 14 2010 at 8:27 pm
JohnDeereGirl DIAMOND, Westerlo, New York
61 articles 36 photos 216 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I&#039;d rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I&#039;m not&quot; <br /> &quot;Somewhere betweeen us talking, you saying I deserve better, and you making me laugh when I wanted to cry, I fell in love with you.&quot;

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OMG! This is beautiful. I've read alot of your work and I think it's some of the best on Teen Ink. AWESOME AWESOME! Keep writing!
xxTokyoXX BRONZE said...
on Mar. 12 2010 at 9:48 pm
xxTokyoXX BRONZE, Buis Creek, North Carolina
3 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.&rdquo;-Edgar Allan Poe<br /> &quot;Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words.&quot;- Robert Frost<br /> &ldquo;The darkest places in hell are reserved for those who maintain their neutrality in times of moral crisis.&rdquo;-Dante Alighiere<br /> &ldquo;I do not like the man who squanders life for fame; give me the man who&rsquo;s living makes a name.&rdquo;-Emily Dickinson

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I was blown away by this.I saw nothing wrong with it.good Job.Keep It Up.
Lost-In-Life GOLD said...
on Feb. 26 2010 at 3:57 pm
Lost-In-Life GOLD, Whitby, Other
11 articles 0 photos 299 comments

Favorite Quote:
It&#039;s never to late, if it weren&#039;t for the last minute many things would never get done!

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Very sad, yet beautiful, poem. I'm not sure it's too realistic as they would probably let them have goodbyes and stuff but still it got the emotion across well. I found this sounded too much like how you would write a story too but still good job!
-Missy- BRONZE said...
on Feb. 24 2010 at 10:11 pm
-Missy- BRONZE, Ahhh, South Dakota
1 article 0 photos 75 comments
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i like this poem a little more than your other two that ive read so far...sad with emotion...like it
Kaayylaa GOLD said...
on Feb. 22 2010 at 5:02 pm
Kaayylaa GOLD, Raleigh, North Carolina
12 articles 0 photos 10 comments
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wow. amazing and yet sad. I love your writing, each story different but that same? If that makes any sense?? haha oh well, good job anyway. :)
Nikiblue PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 22 2010 at 1:57 pm
Nikiblue PLATINUM, Bloomfield Hills, Michigan
20 articles 0 photos 137 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Stupid Is As Stupid Does.&quot; -Forest Gump (;<br /> &quot;No one who achieves success does so without the help of others. The wise and confident acknowledge this help with gratitude.&quot;

View profile
I didn't really have any inspiration. The image of the story just came to me and I wanted to write it down, and that's what I came up with.
poisionWriter SILVER said...
on Feb. 22 2010 at 1:23 pm
poisionWriter SILVER, Idaho Falls, Idaho
9 articles 0 photos 37 comments

Favorite Quote:
I think I love you.

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wow, that was really depressing. where did you get your insperation?
Nikiblue PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 22 2010 at 1:20 pm
Nikiblue PLATINUM, Bloomfield Hills, Michigan
20 articles 0 photos 137 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Stupid Is As Stupid Does.&quot; -Forest Gump (;<br /> &quot;No one who achieves success does so without the help of others. The wise and confident acknowledge this help with gratitude.&quot;

View profile
Okay, thanks. I'll try to watch that when I write.
kressbe BRONZE said...
on Feb. 20 2010 at 9:30 pm
kressbe BRONZE, Mequon, Wisconsin
3 articles 0 photos 22 comments
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That's a good suggestion. Parallelism is cool.

I think this is a really good poem- sometimes narrative poems drift a bit too far into prose, but this is definitely a poem, and a good one.
sillyaardvarkabc BRONZE said...
on Feb. 20 2010 at 8:43 am
sillyaardvarkabc BRONZE, Riverside, Connecticut
4 articles 0 photos 63 comments
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I love this!

However, I think that it would flow better if you refrained from using “and”. for example, you could say: "Those emerald eyes, tiny dimples, those worn out slippers.” Just a suggestion though! Great job.