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Me without you

March 2, 2010
By Jtine BRONZE, Kalispell, Montana
More by this author
Jtine BRONZE, Kalispell, Montana
4 articles 2 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
" This is your life, and it is your choice of how you make it."

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The sun without the shine.
The stars without the moon.
The wind without the air.
The song without the birds.
The spark without the fire.
Me without you.

© Steve S., Marblehead, MA

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 11 comments.

Jtine BRONZE said...
on Mar. 17 2010 at 7:50 pm
Jtine BRONZE, Kalispell, Montana
4 articles 2 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot; This is your life, and it is your choice of how you make it.&quot;

View profile
well, excuse me, but i wrote that by MYSELF... if you have a hard time believing that, 2 bad...
queentabbiecat99 GOLD said...
on Mar. 15 2010 at 8:45 pm
queentabbiecat99 GOLD, Dardanelle, Arkansas
15 articles 0 photos 48 comments

Favorite Quote:
Things aren&#039;t always what they seem.

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i think its very good you don't need a lot of words. it's just how people feel when they lost a love one they don't use a lot of words ether they are in to much pain
Sarbear GOLD said...
on Mar. 14 2010 at 10:16 am
Sarbear GOLD, Milan, Ohio
10 articles 4 photos 489 comments

Favorite Quote:
--Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you&#039;re a mile away from them and you have their shoes.<br /> --When life gives you lemons, squirt them in people&#039;s eyes.

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I feel like this needs more. Maybe go in deeper and talk about how you feel without your loved one. Use similes and work into how you feel. I do like simple poems too, but I feel like you left me short. Good job though, and keep writing!!

Make sure you check out my poems too! :-)
taylor_rae BRONZE said...
on Mar. 13 2010 at 5:34 pm
taylor_rae BRONZE, Beaverton, Michigan
3 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;LET IT BE&quot; - The Beatles

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its a good poem but i doesnt have much emotions in it when i read a poem i like to feel what the author is feeling
starlight26 GOLD said...
on Mar. 13 2010 at 10:40 am
starlight26 GOLD, Miramar, Florida
11 articles 7 photos 174 comments

Favorite Quote:
*life isnt about pretending to be something you&#039;re not. It about being who you are and finding someone <br /> who loves every bit of it.&quot;<br /> <br /> &quot;Life&#039;s tradegy is that we get old too soon and wise too late&quot;

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I thin you had a great and meaningfl poem going but I was surprised to see it so short. In my opinon you should have made It a bit longer. Other than that it was wonderful. I can truly relate to it!! :) ~
ird13 GOLD said...
on Mar. 10 2010 at 9:06 am
ird13 GOLD, Beachwood, Ohio
12 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
1. Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else&#039;s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.<br /> 2. You wear a mask for so long, you forget who you were beneath it.<br /> 3. You see, madness, as you know, is like gravity, all it takes is a little push.

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This sounds like the song Without You from the musical Rent. I really like it and it's very true. You should add more stanzas though, but it does convey the emotion well. ^.^
Chelz PLATINUM said...
on Mar. 9 2010 at 12:59 pm
Chelz PLATINUM, Iron Mountain, Michigan
23 articles 3 photos 28 comments

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I was okay because it sounded to much like you got it off the internet. You could have put more power in it. But keep it up
chrissmd SILVER said...
on Mar. 8 2010 at 9:44 pm
chrissmd SILVER, Woonsocket, Rhode Island
7 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
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this is impressive. it perfectly describes the feeling so many people struggle to explain in so few words. great job.
Jtine BRONZE said...
on Mar. 8 2010 at 1:19 pm
Jtine BRONZE, Kalispell, Montana
4 articles 2 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot; This is your life, and it is your choice of how you make it.&quot;

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Thanx!

xoxo: hrsegrl
hxcRocker DIAMOND said...
on Mar. 8 2010 at 12:35 am
hxcRocker DIAMOND, Haiku, Hawaii
59 articles 2 photos 88 comments
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These are my favorite types of poems short but full of emotion. I like it
little-miss-mistakes GOLD said...
on Mar. 7 2010 at 11:18 pm
little-miss-mistakes GOLD, Plano, Texas
18 articles 2 photos 70 comments

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even after all these years the sun has never said to the earth, you owe me... look at what a love like that can do, it can light up the sky

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i like this, sweet and to the point