Me without you | Teen Ink
  1. Home
  2. Poetry
  3. Free Verse
  4. Me without you

Me without you

March 2, 2010
By Jtine BRONZE, Kalispell, Montana
More by this author
Jtine BRONZE, Kalispell, Montana
4 articles 2 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
" This is your life, and it is your choice of how you make it."

View profile

The sun without the shine.
The stars without the moon.
The wind without the air.
The song without the birds.
The spark without the fire.
Me without you.

© Steve S., Marblehead, MA

Post a comment
Submit your own

Similar Articles

Previous Next
Poetry
Brother
By Anonymous
Poetry
When this poem felt eternal...
By KICK3593 PLATINUM
Roslyn Heights, New York
KICK3593 PLATINUM, Roslyn Heights, New York
49 articles 0 photos 74 comments
View profile
Poetry
The Death Sentence
By Chris Shu BRONZE
Fort Lee, New Jersey
Chris Shu BRONZE, Fort Lee, New Jersey
1 article 0 photos 0 comments
View profile
Poetry
Perfectly
By Christina Rudolph BRONZE
Lilburn, Georgia
Christina Rudolph BRONZE, Lilburn, Georgia
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments
View profile
Poetry
The Ending
By OurFrost GOLD
Galt, California
OurFrost GOLD, Galt, California
10 articles 1 photo 4 comments
View profile
Poetry
The Voice
By BreLee SILVER
Sula, Montana
BreLee SILVER, Sula, Montana
7 articles 0 photos 0 comments
View profile

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 11 comments.

Jtine BRONZE said...
on Mar. 17 2010 at 7:50 pm
Jtine BRONZE, Kalispell, Montana
4 articles 2 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
" This is your life, and it is your choice of how you make it."

View profile
well, excuse me, but i wrote that by MYSELF... if you have a hard time believing that, 2 bad...
queentabbiecat99 GOLD said...
on Mar. 15 2010 at 8:45 pm
queentabbiecat99 GOLD, Dardanelle, Arkansas
15 articles 0 photos 48 comments

Favorite Quote:
Things aren't always what they seem.

View profile
i think its very good you don't need a lot of words. it's just how people feel when they lost a love one they don't use a lot of words ether they are in to much pain
Sarbear GOLD said...
on Mar. 14 2010 at 10:16 am
Sarbear GOLD, Milan, Ohio
10 articles 4 photos 489 comments

Favorite Quote:
--Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you&#039;re a mile away from them and you have their shoes.<br /> --When life gives you lemons, squirt them in people&#039;s eyes.

View profile
I feel like this needs more. Maybe go in deeper and talk about how you feel without your loved one. Use similes and work into how you feel. I do like simple poems too, but I feel like you left me short. Good job though, and keep writing!!

Make sure you check out my poems too! :-)
taylor_rae BRONZE said...
on Mar. 13 2010 at 5:34 pm
taylor_rae BRONZE, Beaverton, Michigan
3 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;LET IT BE&quot; - The Beatles

View profile
its a good poem but i doesnt have much emotions in it when i read a poem i like to feel what the author is feeling
starlight26 GOLD said...
on Mar. 13 2010 at 10:40 am
starlight26 GOLD, Miramar, Florida
11 articles 7 photos 174 comments

Favorite Quote:
*life isnt about pretending to be something you&#039;re not. It about being who you are and finding someone <br /> who loves every bit of it.&quot;<br /> <br /> &quot;Life&#039;s tradegy is that we get old too soon and wise too late&quot;

View profile
I thin you had a great and meaningfl poem going but I was surprised to see it so short. In my opinon you should have made It a bit longer. Other than that it was wonderful. I can truly relate to it!! :) ~
ird13 GOLD said...
on Mar. 10 2010 at 9:06 am
ird13 GOLD, Beachwood, Ohio
12 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
1. Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else&#039;s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.<br /> 2. You wear a mask for so long, you forget who you were beneath it.<br /> 3. You see, madness, as you know, is like gravity, all it takes is a little push.

View profile
This sounds like the song Without You from the musical Rent. I really like it and it's very true. You should add more stanzas though, but it does convey the emotion well. ^.^
Chelz PLATINUM said...
on Mar. 9 2010 at 12:59 pm
Chelz PLATINUM, Iron Mountain, Michigan
23 articles 3 photos 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;When life gives you lemons, bite into it and embrace the bitter taste of reality.&quot; (My own words)

View profile
I was okay because it sounded to much like you got it off the internet. You could have put more power in it. But keep it up
chrissmd SILVER said...
on Mar. 8 2010 at 9:44 pm
chrissmd SILVER, Woonsocket, Rhode Island
7 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;If you find yourself in love with a person who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn&#039;t choose to rest in the other person&#039;s heart.&quot;

View profile
this is impressive. it perfectly describes the feeling so many people struggle to explain in so few words. great job.
Jtine BRONZE said...
on Mar. 8 2010 at 1:19 pm
Jtine BRONZE, Kalispell, Montana
4 articles 2 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot; This is your life, and it is your choice of how you make it.&quot;

View profile
Thanx!

xoxo: hrsegrl
hxcRocker DIAMOND said...
on Mar. 8 2010 at 12:35 am
hxcRocker DIAMOND, Haiku, Hawaii
59 articles 2 photos 88 comments
View profile
These are my favorite types of poems short but full of emotion. I like it
little-miss-mistakes GOLD said...
on Mar. 7 2010 at 11:18 pm
little-miss-mistakes GOLD, Plano, Texas
18 articles 2 photos 70 comments

Favorite Quote:
even after all these years the sun has never said to the earth, you owe me... look at what a love like that can do, it can light up the sky

View profile
i like this, sweet and to the point