I should have…..

Trent, I don’t need you, I don’t love you,
I hate everything in your begin. I wish
I would have never met you. I never want
to see your face again. Go away!
I should have never trusted you. I should
have never said I love you. Because after
four years I realize that you never really
loved me. That you swore never to hurt me
yet here I am in a bunch of hurting pieces.
I should have never trusted you.

You took off in your truck a cloud of anger behind
you. Speed they said was a definite factor is causing
the accident. Along with you being drunk out of your
mind. But what I know is different. It was the anger that
pushed you to the edge. I never thought that this would ever
happen to you. I thought you were smart when it came to
this. But apparently I was wrong again. I should have stopped
you from leaving. I should have made you stay. I should have
never said the things I did. Because I never meant them. I never
meant for them to cause the devastation they did tonight. I never
meant for them to potentially kill you.

But now it’s too late. Here you and I are in the hospital. With
nothing but the steady rhythmic beeping of the monitors to comfort
me. And now I’m sitting here looking at you wishing that I could
take it all back. I should have never said and did what I did to you.
Tears spill from my eyes and make puddles of sorrow on your bed.
My body trembles with fear… fear that you will be gone forever. I sneak
my hand under your lifeless one and squeeze as hard and as pure as love
and life itself. Your hand once rough and rugged now feels like the soft warmth
I use to feel when we first met. You were so different back then. You were so
right for me back then. Back then I should have wished harder on every shooting
star I saw soar across the darkness of light. I should have never said what I said,
because they are all lies the truth is I still love you. I should have ……….seen that all I wanted was you.

You wake up and we both know that all we have ever needed has been right in front of us all along. Because I should have realized that it was you all along. I should love you until the day I die because Trent, you are the one I need. You make my gloomy days somehow turn into the brightest day by jus being around me. You make me feel like life is worth living. I should have never said the things I did because they are all lies in
I should have…..