It seems
Like you were always here
With a book, a favor to ask me
A promise that you would love me forever
If I did somethinganything
For you.

And so you grew
A lot
And almost left me behind
But I caught up
Just in time, every time.
You reached your hand out
And pulled me toward you
Even though sometimes
I wanted to pull you back.

Finally I began to grow
And your friends became mine
In a wacky, complicated sort of way.
And you talked to me, and told me
Your secrets
At least some of them.
And you gave me advice about everything
Even if I didn’t want it
But most of the time I did.

The end came slowly
And it makes me curse at myself every time I think
I could have savored it
Should have savored it
Shouldn’t have let you slip away
In a gown, a hat
And a fuzzy red sweater.

And now I ache
Every time you don’t ask a favor
Every time you aren’t sitting in the window seat
Reading a book, or the newspaper
Or my essay
Every time you aren’t there to give me advice, or to remind me to keep things real
Or to encourage me about anythingeverything I do.
And it brings tears to my eyes
Because this time, you can’t pull me with you
And it’s time for me to let go
Let you go.