Part of me misses her...that girl ive been for years. I finally escaped the fate and left behind eternal tears. This girl looked like the happiest of all their family, but deep inside, she liked to hide what she had turned out to be. Every day she woke at six to get her sis to school, trying to think of different things than most mornings cause her painful heart was full. She'd walk up her long hill and look at the sky, the moon, and wish she could believe in a god to bring him to her soon. Once she was back home on her couch she'd turn those music vids on...just to start to cry when she heard his and her song...and her coffee distracted her when she got ready for school, on how it was ironic that she wanted to look cool. Pretty soon her noisy friends would pull up to her drive, with lady gaga and kesha sounding 10 miles wide...and as she walked out of the door she'd checked her fake smile and the makeup on her eyes, bc if you cant bluff everyone will see your lies. Yeah she'd sing those preppy upbeat songs, she liked them but they cant compare.... to the ones shes heard so long...of rock and roll and sadness oh they can fit her so well....but she jogs back to her reality as her friend talks on her cell. School zooms up like the police station to a convict of the law and soon enough shes at the door and she hates what she just saw. High school used to be alright maybe even fun. But now that he has dropped out she'd rather be on the run...but its better than being at home, so she walks on to first with her famous fake smile, and greets everyone like she hasnt seen them in a while. She walks to her seat in the very back she requested weeks ago bc she doesnt socialize in this class and sleeping is easier there its a fact. She lays her head down on the desk preparing to turn in, and starts her first lie of the day to her former best friend, of course the friend asks what is wrong every single day...and she fakes an excuse or says shes tired to get it out of the way. Then she passes out for and hour and a half of miserable dreams woken by the bell from hell she gets up and leaves. Up the stairs she goes to her second class of the day, she likes this one much better bc there is a computer where she reads the things she know shell never say....she reads poetry and song lyrics bc they relate to her pain inside and she never has to talk to anyone so she feels great to not have to lie. But just as it started it ends her little land and third is on the way so she gets up again. On her way she passes his cousin in the hall and as she looks at his hopeless face she sees him in comparison and has the urge to die. She sits her bag down on the chair and walks to the bathroom, checks her hair and walks out to greet her newest best friend. He is like no other but he'll never be her him and she wishes her love was here to stand next to them, bc if he was then she wouldnt have the urge to break, but that isnt the case so she leaks out her fake. This friend of hers understands the things shell never tell bc he lives similar and knows of places such as hell...but then the bell rings and she marches off to class and has to talk all the time bc everyone does that. She has many friends in here including her ones in first and they all talk together and no one would ever guess a thing. Soon its lunch and she sees her best walking up to her. She feels relief she dont need to feel fake for a moment in time and their convo starts to begin and their speech starts to rhyme. After lunch she goes to fourth and she likes this class, she actually pays attention and doesnt think of the past....until 3 comes around and she goes to the bus...she knows anything good in the day has ended as she kicks the broken road into the dust..she walks up the hill thinking of previous days and opens up the door...just to see her stepmom on the couch here to ruin her day even more...of course its her turn to take the kids so her mom can go hibernate on facebook and she goes in and all her anger fades...bc there is a one year old little girl that shes known as her own daughter since birth,even though shes not, along with her two other sisters...one naked bc she just started potty training and the other trying to read a book way too advanced for a first grader...so she plastered on fake enthusiasm and laughter for them...she would do anything for them. ANYTHING FOR THEM. to be cont....