Sunday, May 17, 2009
I know you're out there
Somewhere
Waiting for me to wait for you.
I know it because—because I'm waiting, too.

Monday, May 17, 2010
I really didn't want to do this over facebook, but the clock is ticking and I couldn't think of a better way. I don't even know how to say this because I've never done anything like this before...mostly because I've never met anyone like you before.

I don't know if she told you or if you magically knew, but I'm single, and have never "done" anything with ANYone. It's not sad; I see it as waiting for the perfect person.

I didn't check with anyone who truly knew before writing this, so I apologize if you don't swing for my team, but I just got really strong vibes that you...are in the same boat as me?

I know that you're going to new york, new york very soon, where I'm sure you'll find some loves of your life, and I have that in my plans, too! I just never thought that I'd meet anyone in Hawaii who I'd respect, be awed by, and fall for in an instant.

I didn't know before Friday how much emotion one can show by playing piano, or through music in any way, but I truly think that something special happened when you performed. When I said on your wall that I couldn't blink, I meant to say that I couldn't take my eyes off of you.

If you think I'm some weird punahou kid with nothing better than to write a freakishly long facebook message, I understand. Don't reply to this if you don't want to. I just really felt like I had to take a chance and put myself out there, because I think you're worth it.

June 6, 2009
That'll be me in two years. My high school life is half-way over, and my pre-college life…
Oh God. Oh Lord. Oh what have I been DOING?
I had it all planned out:
Education
Education
Service
Education.
It's been going perfectly,
right?
I love
Life.
I love
School.
I love…nobody. Where
Are you?! I should have found
Someone,
Felt something,
By now!
I'm not complaining; no, I have no regrets.
I've only wished for—
The unspeakable. The fanciful fantasy that he would never condone. The one thing in life that someone—some higher entity—just didn't bless me enough to ever experience.
—Love.

June 6, 2010
Sometimes it's impossible to thank you in person
For listening to my heart,
For taking a risk,
For believing in my belief in you.

Sometimes it's impossible to show you
how I truly feel.
I'll never shed a tear, or reveal to you how I've
frenetically yearned for you for so, so long.
And now, with this little bit of success,
My accomplishment of having a day with you,
All to myself…
I can.

July 17, 2009
A same-old, same-old, busy day for me,
Coffee still costs four dollars and a dime.
Why do I feel this emptiness inside?
Why does it seem like I'm just wasting time?

July 17, 2010
I knew all along that it was gelatinous.
Then why did I care?
Why try,
Why invest all that energy,
Why use so much brainpower trying to be
witty, coy, flirty?
This was never, ever real.
You led me on!
What I thought was once there, is forever
gone.