Im tired of being strong
when the world feels all wrong
and the darkness consumes me
welling up and threatening to overflow.
But I cant give in to that.
No, that would mean you won,
but maybe you already did.
Im broken and tired.
Is happiness worth chasing?
Is a single moment in time
worth the agonizing hours I spend
searching for a word
that will make this poem rhyme?
But Ive been beaten and tainted.
Not every poem sounds beautiful
and not every story has a happy end.
And sometimes the tears you see me cry
because of some joke you just said
arent tears of laughter, but instead
are tears of pain and anguish
because I cant feel anymore.
No happiness, no light.
I havent felt love in years,
though I know that I am loved.
But Im tainted. Broken beyond repair.
But am I? Or is there hope?
But I;m tired of being strong
and I want to move on,
move far away from this life of lies
that you have made for me.
Ill go somewhere no one knows me.
Ill try to start anew.
But is it really worth it?
The sorrow? The rage?
Is there a point to this suffering?
It makes me stronger,
but who said I wanted to be strong?
Every single day I smile and laugh,
I make you believe Im okay.
I lie. The me you know is the mask
that Im so tired of keeping up.
I just want to let it fall
and to show you what life really is.
But youll only push me away
call me a drama queen
and say I just want attention.
Ive been through that before
I wont do it again.
So Ill keep it hidden,
pretend that everythings okay.
Its easy to pretend when youre numb.
Its easy to walk away.
But I cant walk away.