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A Perfect Society
December 24, 2010
Just another day,
in a perfect society,
just another day,
looking at the pretty,
decorated clock face,
not seeing the rusted gears and mechanisms,
hidden behind it,
the world's not perfect,
and never will be,
utopia's don't exist.
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 15 comments.
Raytheraym PLATINUM said...
on Jun. 6 2011 at 6:57 pm
Thank you! And your poem was good. I'm not sure how the title connects though.
oh my gosh! i write a poem that sounds very similar to this and i totally agree with the whole message! I don't know if i really like the title, i was thinking of chanigng it, any ideas?
Rainbow World
Don’t bother me
I’m alone
In a world
Where no one
Can hurt me
Not you
Not me
Not even him
Not any one
I wish this were life
But love and life
Go hand and hand
And love and pain
As well
You can’t just
Take the good
And leave the bad behind
Raytheraym PLATINUM said...
on Mar. 13 2011 at 2:36 pm
Thanks! :)
Beachgirl1 PLATINUM said...
on Mar. 13 2011 at 2:34 pm
no problem!!!!!!!!
Raytheraym PLATINUM said...
on Mar. 13 2011 at 2:33 pm
Thanks! :)
Beachgirl1 PLATINUM said...
on Mar. 13 2011 at 1:54 pm
i personally dont think it is too short, it is really good, but i think u could have changed the endings just a little, and cut out the utopia thing. But besides that, it is wonderful, one of my favorite poems by you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Raytheraym PLATINUM said...
on Mar. 9 2011 at 3:42 pm
Thanks. It is short.
Cammie45874 SILVER said...
on Mar. 9 2011 at 5:20 am
Its good but it felt cut off to short.
LittleMidnight PLATINUM said...
on Mar. 6 2011 at 2:02 pm
So true, love it!!
Raytheraym PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 15 2011 at 4:12 pm
Thank you!
Raytheraym PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 15 2011 at 4:10 pm
Thanks! :)
SpringRayyn PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 14 2011 at 9:22 pm
The last line is good. I like the metaphor with the clock. I personally myself don't like clocks, so that makes it even better.
With the two stanzas separate, I like this. I'm sure if you added a couple stanzas in between it would flow better, but they didn't seem to really go together. Afer the first stanza, I thought you were going to talk about how we don't see/notice the work people do "behind the scenes" that make the world a better place. I just feel like something is missing, and I would love to see how you could connect the two stanzas together. Keep up the good work :)
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Favorite Quote:
"Imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia"<br /> -John Green (Looking For Alaska)