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Cyanide and Happiness
It can’t be too hard
 to obtain purest bliss
 to never have to hurt again
 never have to cry
 never have to lose another
 never watch loved ones die
 never have to see your dreams
 just within your grasp
 never to have them snatched away
 just when you were close
 never have to eat your spinach
 they say heaven’s just the way you like
 I’d like it with cake
 never getting any fatter
 never worried about how you look
 never being tired of life
 never wishing you were dead
 never looking back
 on memories you dread
 and wishing against you heart
 to go back
 and live them again
 never forgetting to turn the curling iron off
 never boiling soup
 all over the stove
 no more refrigerator spills
 no more crunchy carpet
 beneath your soft round toes
 no more hobo’s puking in your front lawn
 under your bedroom window
 no one telling you what to do
 no one saying stay or go
 no one reminding you what you had
 in times long ago
 no more grades to keep up
 no more frizzy hair to keep down
 no more “friends” who don’t want to stick around
 no more wishing you were someone else
 no more wishing you were dead
 I guess what life tells us is that
 in the end
 only Cyanide can bring happiness
 you’re better off dead.

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