Aging | Teen Ink

Aging

February 22, 2011
By shennat BRONZE, Taipei, Other
shennat BRONZE, Taipei, Other
4 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Spring came.
When the grass of the yard was still green
When the flower still bloomed in joy
Friends would come over every day,
To roll downhill the soft hairy tanned skin of the earth,
To float downstream in meandering river,
To slip downwards on the slippery tree we always climb.
All was very good.
Until
Autumn stormed in rammed poor spring out the window
The flowers withered mournfully
Tears of fallen leaves cascaded
The soft tanned skin became barren
Hardened and old.
Followed by thunder of winter.
I left fun
The water of the bathtub hibernated,
But my tears streamed on.
Time to go
But the imprints still remained in my heart,
When the grass of the yard was still green
When the flower still bloomed in joy.
We would come over every day,
To roll downhill the soft hairy tanned skin of the earth,
To float downstream in the big flowing bathtub,
To slip downwards on the slippery tree we always climb.


The author's comments:
When I grew old and became an adult, I realized I felt the pain of leaving being a kid, but the "kid" version of me is still inside me.

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This article has 4 comments.


shennat BRONZE said...
on Mar. 9 2011 at 6:45 pm
shennat BRONZE, Taipei, Other
4 articles 0 photos 5 comments
Thank you for your comment! It is more towards sensory detail on this one

on Mar. 9 2011 at 6:43 pm
The poem was very descriptive. I could almost picture it.

shennat BRONZE said...
on Mar. 9 2011 at 6:41 pm
shennat BRONZE, Taipei, Other
4 articles 0 photos 5 comments
 You're right, I think I do need alittle more assonance, or alliteration. Thanks

Pacman81 said...
on Mar. 9 2011 at 6:33 pm
mite wanna use more assonence or alliteration :)