Hell’s mouth gapes open for me, welcoming
Offering much needed solace from fickle realities
Dancing flames tickle my ankles, warming my skin
Feel at home, at peace
No need to run or hide here
From unseen adversaries
Red, blue, orange flickering, dazzling me
Comforting heat is climbing up to my thighs now, filling me with delight
The pain that had turned me numb is melting away
Heat settles at my core for a moment
I bask in the warmth of the flames, reveling in the colorful petals
That have given me life, resurrected me
As my heart is thawed, I feel myself smile
A real smile, the kind that hasn’t surfaced in years
I am free now, I think
Until those fickle realities come crashing in
Invading my mind, my soul, my peace
Bringing me back to death
I am remembering, thinking unwanted thoughts
Loud noises drown out these thoughts
Erratic beeping surrounds me, closing in
I realize what’s happening
They’re trying to bring me back, to keep me here
Tears roll down my cheeks, unnoticed
I am broken
Hell’s flames cannot reach me here
Promised life is slipping from my grasp, fading
Pain is building and blinding, numbness follows closely
I weep silently for the life that I had gotten a taste of
For the life that I will not get to live
Not until next time
When I call Death to bring me back to life from this death
And to Hell to bring me joy and to melt the pain and numbness
To make me smile