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Porcelain Pain
Eyes like diamonds
 scattered in the undergrowth
 hide behind lashes stolen
 from midnight.
 
 Shoved in the corner,
 gathering dust, 
 the ache of uselessness
 pangs in her joints
 
 Was it the frill of her dress
 coming undone
 or the mussed hair
 that deterred me?
 
 I cannot explain
 what kept me away
 perhaps the solace
 I found in forever.
 
 
 
 For hours, days, seasons,
 I left her alone, yet 
 she sat and watched, and
 watched, 
 and sat.
 
 
 But she knew not time, and so
 through youth, angst,
 uncertainty, maturity, growth
 she remained a guardian. Mine. 
 
 But as the sight of her,
 nestled in a corner,
 bled into the scene,
 
 her dimensions faded.
 
 And with the passing
 of ten winters
 came time’s cruel
 and unforgiving price.
 
 Unraveling were her
 fabric ligaments,
 evanescing were her
 pristine features.
 
 
 And when I beheld 
 her decrepit state,
 my strength, too, unraveled
 my faith soon evanesced.
 
 I did not know,
 could not foresee
 this return of dependence
 I’d fought so long.
 
 Yet in that moment
 I could not deny
 the guilt, grief, pain
 flooding my eyes.
 
 And, though I cannot
 redo what’s passed
 I swear to myself
 to make the rest last.

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