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until
April 26, 2011
Until forever ends and today turns to night again,I will miss you. Until my heart stops beating, I will love you. Until the world ends and we never see the light of day again, I will be thinking of you. And until you don't want it anymore, my heart is yours.
© Liza C., Seattle, WA
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This article has 2 comments.
thomakab14 SILVER said...
on Nov. 26 2011 at 8:58 am
This is very thoughtful. =) I love the last line, but it's a tad confusing when in the beginning you say until forever ends, and then you say until the world ends. The forever seems greater than the world and if you led up to a climax, it ould appeal to emotion better. I would rewrite it with talking about your heart stopping beating, then the world ending, then the light of day, then forever, then my favorite line, the last one. That's just constructive criticism, and I'm not saying you have to, just offering an opinion, obviously. =P And you can choose to keep your poetic liscense. But good job and good thoughts.
