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Dear Dad
A single shot
 shattered the stillness
 of dawn.
 It stole silence
 
 
  purity
 
 
 
  peace. 
 
 A single tear
 wet mother’s eye
 as she bore the news
 with the strength of
 A Widowed Woman. 
 
 For that morning
 at seven forty-eight
 marker her rebirth.
 no longer wife, mother, lover
 now: widow, parent, loner.
 
 A single thought
 crossed my mind:
 Is he coming back?
 ...or is this for good?
 
 And after that,
 my feelings changed.
 Sadness faded.
 Anger flamed.
 Pity waned, and
 only love remained.
 
 Regret, remorse, denial
 all ran their courses.
 I blamed it on everyone,
 including you.
 
 I feared to admit
 that it didn't affect me—
 not for lack of understanding
 but for lack of loss.
 
 Because you were only there
 to yell...
 
 Mr. Bipolar Dad.
 Excusable? Perhaps.
 Bearable? Never.
 
 Yes, I love(d) you, dad.
  but only as
 an obligation.
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