I was the late
birthday present,
two weeks after my moms
36th birthday.
I learned that black jeans
and striped shirts
were cool
in kindergarten,
unless the shirt came un-tucked.
When that happened,
I counted it as a loss.

Kindergarten was great,
I was in the P.M.
For class.
in the morning
I went to my
grandma and grandpas house.
I would sleep,
wake up,
eat mac and cheese,
then go have grandpa
teach me how
to play baseball.
The sport I now play
year round.
That is for sure
a win.

I didn’t get to celebrate
my sixth birthday.
This didn’t bother me
because my family
was busy unloading
boxes into the new house
which I called “Brian’s Place”.
To me it was
the biggest birthday present…
Ever.
Obviously a win for me.

I’ve been scared
by simple things
like looking for
a new dog.
Thinking they were
going to kill me.
climbing the fence of
the shelter when
they brought the Dalmatian in.
threatening to run away.
That was a scary loss.

The same day I got scared
I fell in love,
with the only dog I wasn’t afraid of,
the one that was laying
in the back of her kennel,
she had the look that said
someone please adopt me,
this is the dog my family got.
A win, and a loss
In the same day.

I hated country,
but now as I’m typing this
I am listening to
my country playlist,
always having songs
stuck in my head.
For me that’s a win.

In fifth grade,
I had a teacher,
Mr. Schaefer was his name.
He was the coolest guy ever.

Except for my gym teacher,
Mr. Wallace.
He taught me a lot
about sports,
on and off the field.
Meeting Mr. Schaefer and Mr. Wallace
Were obvious wins.

The Iraq war…
It changed my life.
I lost the person
that taught me lots
about sports.
On and off the field.

In Mr. Schaefers
fifth grade class
and having the news
broke to us.
That our gym teacher
had died in Iraq.
I still get that feeling
in my gut
when I pass E. Cook
and see the memorial
dedicated to him.
From that day
until now when I pass it
it’s still a loss.

What he taught me,
like that winning
isn’t everything
has helped me so much
since the day he taught it to me.
That knowledge for me
Is a win.

My grandpa taught me
the same thing.
Always coming to my games
telling me
to keep my head up,`
and never give up.
I have to think
of that as a win.

I thought the loss
of Mr. Wallace was bad
but then,
on June 7, 2008
while I was at a Brewers game
my dad got a call
saying my grandpa
passed away.
Even though they won the game
it wasn’t a win for me.
I was a loss…
A devastating loss.

The wins, and losses
in my life
have changed it for
the good… or worse
only time will tell.