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Daddy's Womb MAG
April 23, 2008
i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.
So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.
i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.
The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.
i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.
i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.
© Anonymous
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This article has 2183 comments.
Kazy said...
on Nov. 14 2009 at 6:26 pm
wow..
that was moving.!
It was very good.
that was moving.!
It was very good.
AndThisIsReal PLATINUM said...
on Nov. 12 2009 at 12:16 pm
This is really good, no wonder it got so many comments. :D
Keep writing.
Keep writing.
cheerchick90210 said...
on Nov. 12 2009 at 9:26 am
awesome poem
Inevitable_Anxiety BRONZE said...
on Nov. 10 2009 at 7:43 pm
This poem was brilliant. I can tell you have a future in poetry, writing in general. I was pleased to read it
PoetOfNyx16 SILVER said...
on Nov. 9 2009 at 1:47 pm
its amazing, this poem is very excellent. its deep and just all around wonderful.
ariwrites94 GOLD said...
on Nov. 8 2009 at 8:49 pm
Wonderful job!!!! you are a talented writer and keep up the good work! if u have time please check out my poem called "Sensitive Am I" and rate and leave a comment. Thanks and keep writing!
CASTROLmatt GOLD said...
on Nov. 6 2009 at 10:59 am
This is a really good poem. It seems you are reflecting one one's self. I like it. =]
LeilaniLives PLATINUM said...
on Nov. 5 2009 at 2:19 pm
I'm making a wild throw out- maybe this piece is religious? And his Father is God himself ? Seems to me. Beatiful.
corruptedlullaby GOLD said...
on Nov. 4 2009 at 12:10 pm
Wow. That was purely touching!
Dat Chocoholic Girl said...
on Nov. 4 2009 at 11:14 am
wow nice poem that was super cute i liked so much
BellaEzrebetFang SILVER said...
on Nov. 2 2009 at 4:13 pm
Love this. This poem makes me wince though...it's sad and ambitious and determined and hopeful and uplifting until the end when you're brought down and held back with the 'chain' in the poem....
DEARtiffanyy GOLD said...
on Nov. 1 2009 at 10:52 pm
I think that the "i" isn't capitalized on purpose. The writer puts himself on a lower rank than the Sea or Father, hence, they are capitalized.
chetahgirl20 PLATINUM said...
on Nov. 1 2009 at 6:08 pm
I would try to have realistic words, and capitalize "I". Nice poem.
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