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I'm Me Without Billions of Things

November 7, 2011
By tori-gurl PLATINUM, Norwich, New York
More by this author
tori-gurl PLATINUM, Norwich, New York
32 articles 0 photos 85 comments

Favorite Quote:
smile through everything no matter how bad it gets because it could be worse and if it gets worse well then it can only get better. :)

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I'm not the kind
who needs billions of things
to create my life
I dont need 88 keys on the piano
to make a song
i dont need multiple hues of color
to create art,
i can make a rianbow out of black and gray
i dont need hundreds of friends,
to feel needed
i dont need an overflowing closet to look the way i want
the way i am
i odnt need a mask of makeup
to show my beauty
i dont need a vocabulary
consisting of the dictionary itself
to get my point across
i dont need a past of 50 boyfriends
to know ive been loved
I am me regardless of any thing
and that will never change.

© Ezekiel R., Las Cruces, NM

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 3 comments.

MissExploration BRONZE said...
on Aug. 15 2013 at 2:29 pm
MissExploration BRONZE, Vancouver, Washington
1 article 0 photos 112 comments

Favorite Quote:
It Can Only Fly When It Needs To.

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I feel like it doesn't need to be shorter if you reworded some parts such as "I don't need a past of 50 boyfriends to know I've been loved." to something else that has a stronger meaning it would work. If you want it to be shorter cut out the parts that feel weaker to you. Your not over using the "I am me without____" part, thats the point of your poem from how I see it. I hope this feedback helps. :)
tori-gurl PLATINUM said...
on Aug. 14 2013 at 6:46 pm
tori-gurl PLATINUM, Norwich, New York
32 articles 0 photos 85 comments

Favorite Quote:
smile through everything no matter how bad it gets because it could be worse and if it gets worse well then it can only get better. :)

View profile
Thanks so much for the feedback! This is one of my older poems, but looking back on it I see what you mean about it starting to get weaker towards the end. Do you think if it was shorter, the poem would have more of an impact? That could very well be the problem, because I feel like I alomost over use the anaphora of "I am me without _____" Thanks again for your feedback :)
MissExploration BRONZE said...
on Aug. 11 2013 at 11:32 am
MissExploration BRONZE, Vancouver, Washington
1 article 0 photos 112 comments

Favorite Quote:
It Can Only Fly When It Needs To.

View profile
The line that says "I don't need 88 keys on the piano to make a song" was my favorite part of the poem. I love anything to do with music, especially the violin, and piano. When you started out the poem it felt strong, but then towards more the middle and ending it feels weaker. Otherwise this is a good poem, showing you are yourself and believe in who you are not what everyone else believes or wants.