Sleepless nights plague my existence,
I question myself every step of the way;
I wonder if I am good enough;
I am not.
There is no light,
There is no dawn,
Just peaceful
Dullness,
A mere substitute for
The gaping Hole
Where You used to be.

* * *

She doesn’t know
What danger I put in her life
Every moment I’ve spent with her,
As beautiful as a star,
As precious as a diamond,
Her radiating beauty,
That smile that taught me to laugh
I left them all behind – for Her.
I must live off her memories
While I agonize with the heavy guilt in my heart
Knowing that she will not forgive me easily
Or else forgive me without a thought
A blessing I have many a times asked for
But I am sure I don’t deserve
She deserves much more
But why can’t she see?
I can’t lose her,
And so I cannot explain.
Why can’t she see that I do love her,
Love her more than my own life,
Want her more than my deepest desires?
She is a flame
That I cupped my own hands around to protect,
But I got too close,
And it burned me
Burned away all sense
Being away from her
Is the greatest burn of all
But the thought of losing her
Is greater still.
She is my flame, my desire, my power, my weakness…
However distant she may be
She shall not extinguish
That much faith I have in her strength.
But I hope she will allow herself to forgive me
And forget me.