My resistance is ever-present,
Fueling your need for more.
I try to utter the word you ignore, "no"
And I am silenced.
Silenced by the force of a hand so strong.
Strong. Which makes my feeble attempt to escape
Futile. Pointless.
Just a waste of my energy.
My eyes show fear and you smile.
Just once you say...
As if that will make a difference to me.
I have been used in the worst way.
Abused because your need for superiority
Superseded my wish to feel safe.
I clean up the evidence
And throw up anything because I can't stomach a thing.
Lets forget it happened and say its okay.
But its not and in the end I am only lying
To myself.