Everyday we go through this world,
Facing challenges,
Overcoming fears,
Finding happiness,
Digging ourselves in a deeper hole.
Life is a mystery to us,
And how everyday will turn out is unknown.
With so many possibilities,
Every second is a surprise.
But no matter what we face,
The world keeps spinning,
And emotions keep showing.
The days go on,
And though something horrible might happen to you,
Something wonderful is happening else where.
Different events,
Different views,
Different results.
We deal with things others don’t,
This is why we see the world so differently.
We see in most things what we want to,
What we miss is right in front of our faces.
We see not for what something is,
But what they could be.

And So We Begin
The days go on,
And the light has yet to returned,
The days go on,
And yet depression still rules my life.
The same crap everyday,
And all I can do is take it,
The same crap everyday,
And all it does is throw me down.
The air is thick and hard to breathe,
But I take in as much as I can.
Around me are clouds of my sorrow,
Visibility is no more.
I am laughed at,
Mocked and teased,
Thrown down by every person at every second.
I feel that there is no end to these untimely events,
I feel that by the end of everything I shall not be around.
When the light could be let in and happiness was viewed through my eyes,
The days seemed shorter and worth while,
But now trapped in my mind,
Drowning in my own tears,
I see this light is gone and it is time to find another.
No one can save me now,
For I have disappeared awhile ago,
No one can save me now,
For the hourglass has run out,
I see something,
It is new and bright,
I see something,
But feel nothing.
My body is numb but my heart still aches.
Oh pity and sorrow rule my life,
But I am taking over,
And my night has ended.

What’s Next
The news of those less fortunate,
Taken over by their own mind,
The news that one cannot stand to be,
It shatters the town,
It makes me think,
How bad can it be,
When it gets to that point?
How bad is it,
When there is nothing else to live for?
She wasn’t my friend,
But she was a person who deserved happiness.
I was never mean to her,
Though I never tried to be nice.
I tried to let it escape my mind,
And when it did,
Solitude began.
The news of the less fortunate,
The news that someone was taken over.
It kills me.
The poorness of their heart,
It has killed them.
I see her picture,
The “we miss you” signs with no signatures,
It gets me thinking,
No one liked her because she was different,
So who would be the next person to be overrun by everyone?
Who would the next outcast be?
The one who had something different to say and was taken down for it,
I reach into my backpack and pull out a pencil,
I was going to be the next one,
The next person with something different to say,
And I was proud of it.

A View From Far
The death of someone far,
The death you don’t feel guilty about,
When little people are sad and all you can think of is why.
She was very distant,
Far from the crowd,
Head down,
Back arched,
Black hair covering her face,
She didn’t like it when people talked to her,
So we didn’t.
I never called her out in anyway,
I never made anyone back off her,
And I never walked away to get help when they did.
I just stood there and stared helplessly and she started to cry,
She was a tough girl,
And now look where she is at,
Six feet underground with no funeral because no one wanted to have one.
I stop and think,
Is this what it has come to?
Am I really just another bully who thinks she’s the best?
Am I no better than the people who through her down?
Yes.
Yes I am,
I am just as bad though I might not have done it,
I didn’t stop it.

I Didn’t Do It
The stares of anger,
They follow me.
What was I suppose to say,
That it was my fault,
That I meant to make her kill herself?
No I didn’t.
I promise I didn’t.
She hadn’t done anything to me,
But yet I still hunted her.
She was my prey and I her predator.
Here only the strong survive,
You have to do things you’re not proud of,
Take action.
Make a statement.
Now I feel as though guilt is leaking out of my pours.
It is the only thing running through me.
I was just messing around.
Nothing was supposed to turn out this way.
Now I am falling down an everlasting well.
I have been falling,
Waiting for it to end,
To hit the bottom and end this,
But I never do.
I just keep falling.
She wasn’t supposed to kill herself.
This was never supposed to end in this matter.
Why couldn’t I have just stopped?
I didn’t mean anything.
The end is far from happening.
Forever I will have this memory in my head.
The memory of her innocent face,
Her tears falling on the floor,
Her sitting alone,
Crying,
Begging god for it to end,
And it never did.
Then she took action,
She decided she wouldn’t be a victim,
She was worth better than what we allowed her to be.
Now we see how this has ended,
We see how words burn into your flesh,
Eat away at all your healthy thoughts,
Then there are none left.
Where do you go after that?
Away.
You go away.
Shut yourself out.
Close the door to life.
You go and take action.

The Next Chapter of the Same Story
Drifting away,
Another soul leaves.
Another beautiful angel disappears from the planet.
She leaves only with few words to say,
She leaves with the thought that someone like her is better off dead.
But she also leaves with the thought that she is gone, and now someone else shall pay,
The bully’s victim is gone and now they will just find another,
Making the cycle continue.
She knows it will never stop.
These people live for a hunt,
Live to feel power,
Live to be the top dog.
They make it so far just to be knocked down.
So they destroy the competition,
Before it destroys them.
Day by day,
Innocent person after innocent person,
Slowly they are destroyed from the inside out.
What is left of them is meaningless,
Almost invisible to us.
Then they disappear forever and the light finally finds them.
When no one looks they are there,
But then someone comes,
So they run.
Hidden like they always have been,
Hidden like they believe they always should be.
No one knows the beauty they hold inside them,
But one day it is let out,
And then,
They see their happiness,
They see what can be,
What their life can bring,
Why they want to live.
Before they see this though they are destroyed,
It is so hard to believe it,
They argue with themselves,
Thinking only wrong,
So far brought down,
Happiness can barely bring them up.
They fight and fight,
Another bad day,
And then,
Nothing means anything,
Everything means nothing,
And now another one lost.

Where Life Ends and Silence Begins
And so my story comes to a conclusion.
The way depression ate me alive,
Made me want to end my life and how I did.
Though the bullies didn’t make me end my life,
I did that.
It was my decision.
My soul still lingers trying to find happiness,
And right now all I feel is more pain.
Though people realize their mistakes,
It took someone dying to figure it out.
My death was a surprise yes,
But yet I know they somehow knew it would happen.
The scares from the words that were said still lay written across my arm,
The words still spin around my brain
But I can’t say I’m surprised.
They are who I am.
The truth is real.
Though the words that were said might not be true,
But those words always being said to me made me believe them.
Lies spilled out of their mouths,
This is true,
The fact that they were lies is what got me through the day.
When I started believing them is when I couldn’t.
This was the beginning of my end,
This was the beginning of me being more than a victim,
But another trapped soul.
So here my soul stays,
Here I wait,
I wait for a chance to admit I can be free.
So silenced by the years that have past,
Silenced by the loss of my memory,
Silenced by the end of a life,
Silenced,
This is now where it stays.