It hurts,
Seeing your name every now and then.
Just when I start to forget the good things,
I get reminded.
It hurts so badly-my heart.
It misses your friendship.
But I guess we both made different choices,
We both went our separate ways.
I tried to protect you,
Like any sister would.
But you turned away,
And I became bitter.
I should have realized that you need to make your own choices-
Good and bad.
Learn your own lessons,
Instead of listening to my own.
But this one,
I couldn't let you make.
So I betrayed you,
And told your parents.
But they blamed me,
And pushed me away,
I didn't know what to do,
So I blocked you out of my life and memory.
Hoping it would wake you out of your facade.
But it didn't.
So we don't talk,
And if we run into each other-
We pretend we don't know each other...
And that hurts more than anything.
It hurts thinking that you don't remember our sleepovers,
Or our heart to hearts.
Its so painful knowing that I'm no longer a part of your life,
Your future-
That I'll never see you go to your first prom,
Or get your license.
It kills me knowing I'll never be there for you when you need an ear,
A hug,
And a smile when every one else is frowning.
I miss you.
More than I could ever tell you,
But it wouldn't matter.
Because if I tried to,
You'd slam the door in my face.
And I'd walk home-
Knowing you chose him over me.

So this poem is for you old friend.
I like to have hope that you'll read it,
And maybe some day you will.
But for now,
I'll sit and wait for that knock at my door,
Or that text message-
(Assuming you didn't delete my number).
I want you to know that I'm waiting for you,
And
I'm sorry.
For trying to prevent you from growing up.