Barren | Teen Ink

Barren

March 26, 2012
By FleshRipper GOLD, Guilford, Indiana
FleshRipper GOLD, Guilford, Indiana
15 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm not surprised, it's just kinda suprising." -me


I walk through this barren space
All the life drained from me
It's written on my face
A message that anyone can see
I've spent too many days wishing my heart to stop beating
Wishing my lungs to stop ventilating
I'm so sick of bleeding
So sick of hating

My life so full of hopelessness
I feel so numb
Trying to figure out what I did to deserve this
Apprehensive of what is to come
I'm seperated from my own self
Missing every minute
I wish someone would help
Because I'd give anything to be back in it

Nothing grows in my life
By now you should know that
I've lost my sight
And my emotions attack
These demons will always give me a hard time
I'll never find my way back home
But losing my battle is fear in prime
And that I shall never condone


The author's comments:
The way I feel is so isolated, and I feel like I'm stuck in a barren wasteland each day. I wrote this because I'm tired of it and I want to tell somebody.

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This article has 1 comment.


on Apr. 9 2012 at 3:09 pm
Kev-Girl SILVER, Plymouth, Indiana
5 articles 0 photos 86 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is a maybe. Death is for sure. Sin is the cause. Christ is the cure. :) <br /> <br /> Love is the breath of God, and prayer is the melody that makes it sing. <br /> <br /> If you cant annoy someone, there&#039;s no point in writing.<br /> <br /> Love is overrated, marry for money.

I like this, and I can relate. It stinks feeling that way, and I love how you showed that through this poem. It did, for some reason I cannot pin-point, seem a little dull. It's good, but it just feels like there's something missing, like the great emotion inside it isn't all coming out. Does that make sense? I feel like there's a lot more to this than you wrote, and I would have loved maybe a few more lines. Maybe go into a little more depth as to why you feel the way you do, just without getting into too much detail. Gosh, I'm probably confusing you now! haha, sorry! But yeah, just try to find balance in what you write. I understand you write in your own style, and I do the same. So don't worry too much about the advice I just gave, because overall you're the one writing it, and not me. 

Oh, and I just gotta say that I like the rhyming in this. I think you did a great job. Keep it up! :)