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Nightmare's End
April 11, 2012
Separation,
Desperation.
It's beginning to set in.
Nothing to do
But curl up into a ball
And wait
Wait
Wait for the nightmares to end.
This hellish life,
These scarring nightmares,
They know no boundaries.
They know no ends.
The hope is gone,
The hope of improvement,
You have learned to be content.
Content.
Right.
I wish I was content,
I wish I was okay,
I wish that I was alive.
I am none of these things anymore.
Dead inside, outside, too.
Like a flower wilting;
Slowly I die.
I can feel the furious flames of
death,
Licking at my body.
They will never cease.
They can only grow stronger.
And so I wait,
Curled into a ball.
I wait for the nightmare to end.
© Elise S., Clarksville, MD
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 11 comments.
Rebecca.xx BRONZE said...
on May. 27 2013 at 8:35 pm
Thanks so much! I'm glad the meter was noticeable
LexusMarie PLATINUM said...
on May. 27 2013 at 12:44 pm
Hey there! The title was very appealing.. poems about dreams and nightmares are always so interesting, because people's dreams/nightmares are always so different from mine/other people's.. and it's crazy to read poetry/stories about them. And though this was different from what I expected I found it very interesting and I enjoyed reading it. That's the magic of poetry, I think I know what it'll be about but I don't. The picture really went well with this poem and the flame while going along with the darkness of the poem, also brought some light to the poem. You really emphasize certain words by giving them a line all their own and by putting a period after some of them. That's brilliant and I love when writers do that, it really makes me think about those words on a deeper level. This poem was powerful and dark! You did a wonderful job writing this and I am highly impressed. Great job.
Rebecca.xx BRONZE said...
on May. 27 2013 at 10:37 am
Thank you so much, glad you liked it!
The meter you wrote in does much for what you're conveying here and your clipped syntax is steady like a heartbeat, as though you can feel your heat, or your life, pulsing away in this poem. I like the parallel structure and the repetition of the beginning in the end, because it comes full circle to show, instead of development, you're trapped in the same nightmare at the end of the poem as yo were at the beginning, but you've resigned that there's nothing to do about it except lie down. It's a defeated tone, but it is a poem, and what's a poem that isn't charged with emotion? I like it, and it reminds me of my own periods of trials, which I think you've done a good job of capturing. Maybe in a future revision try to cut out the cliche simile of wilting flowers and saying the word nightmare as much. Otherwise, you created a great poem
Rebecca.xx BRONZE said...
on May. 22 2013 at 4:58 pm
I noticed that as I read yours! Thank you :)
Metalhead08 GOLD said...
on May. 21 2013 at 9:59 pm
Great job creating such vivid imagery! I really enjoyed this, I see absolutely no error or flaw! Wonderful job!
Wings10FeetTall GOLD said...
on May. 21 2013 at 7:46 am
Great job! I really like this, it's the same kind and type of poetry that write for the most part.
Rebecca.xx BRONZE said...
on May. 21 2013 at 5:35 am
Thank you for reviewing, glad you liked it! I hadn't realized I used nightmare more than once in the same stanza, thank you for pointing that out :)
Laugh-it-Out PLATINUM said...
on May. 20 2013 at 10:56 pm
Dark and mysterious, really good. My only helpful critisim is that in the first stanza you say nighmares twice in like 2 different lines. It sounds a bit awkward and repetative. My suggestion would be too take out "nightmares" and insert dreams so it would look something like this: "Waiting for the nightmares to end, this hellish life, these scarring dreams" I don't know if you see what I did there, but when I read it that way it flows better. Hope you don't take that offensivly, my motto is too never stop improving, soo, yeah. Keep rockin
ChocolateLove SILVER said...
on May. 20 2013 at 10:58 am
Dark but beautiful. it really gave me the chiils. I love it :D !!!
4 articles 3 photos 39 comments
Favorite Quote:
"I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity."<br /> -Edgar Allan Poe<br /> (this summarizes my life)