Portrait of a Figure | Teen Ink

Portrait of a Figure

June 13, 2012
By RobbieM BRONZE, Tampa, Florida
RobbieM BRONZE, Tampa, Florida
1 article 0 photos 4 comments

I gazed at the moon,
One Sunday at night's noon,
Reminiscing of courtships and waltzes,
Thinking "Oh, I will do something soon"
The thought slips away,
The ether of day's end springs in delightful array—!
And flicks its tendrils under the miasma of indecision.

I took tea with Miniver Cheevy
And we spoke of King Arthur
And of the immortal Casa di Medici,
Wondering, "Should we? Was this meant to be?"
And we plotted and schemed,
But what if we were seen?
Who were we to expect Verona's cloth of green?
We set aside our tea
And, hunching our shoulders,
We buried our faces
In the ever-calming water of life
And recalled thoughts of the sea.

The sea! The sea!
The waves roll into eternity.
I should have been a grain of sand,
floating in the salty breeze.
But no! How the sand would look at me!
Pockmarks and dimples,
Frailty and resolve,
War and peace,
They will see the former in me.
I should be a simple atom,
Hovering in the pall of eternity.

Circling in graceful step,
We waltzed about the floor
Around diamond chandeliers and
Golden candlesticks,
But I perceive she wanted of me...
Something, more—
Five years I had waited,
Staring at that flashing green light,
Standing with cascading twilight stars by night,
And I lost the name of action.

The fog rolled on waves through the cave,
Past paupers and their rusty mattocks,
Spreading that ethereal humor
Which leaps with gentle footing,
Lands with but a whimper, and passes onward,
Downward, ever to the depths,
And slinks down the shaft that wept—
Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate.
Gold, blood, and diamonds, Behold!
The fog curls around the sight
and masks beauty with night;
It rolled on waves through the streets,
Past flickering streetlamps,
Sealed cellar doors,
The cries and mourning of times past,
Singing silently of its victory.
A white trident of lightning forked through the night,
And waited for its answer.
The stars glimmered in anticipation—
The fog cuddled the streets,
Lingering amidst cellar doors,
Sculpting a shroud of eternal mist;
The streetlamps bent in their dim, perpetual cry:
"Lacrimosa dies illa...
Dona eis Requiem."

Here we go round the mushroom cloud
Mushroom cloud, mushroom cloud,
Here we go round the mushroom cloud
At the red hour of day's noon.

" Mademoiselle, do you—?
The last waltz.
The streetlamps flicker,
And burn their fuse.
The fog hides the stars,
While they weep for man.
"I will do—
"Was this—

I had not thought death had undone so many.


The author's comments:
The above is an exercise in the poetic verse of Thomas Eliot, a remarkable author with whose work I have grown especially fond. The thematic elements of his poetry are quite evident, as are some of the images included therein, but I have viewed his themes through a different medium, in response to the ever-fading or darkening shades of gray in this modern society. As befitting of a work in the style of Eliot, direct quotes from various works (The Wasteland, The Love Song of J Alfred Prufrock, The Divine Comedy, The Great Gatsby, Julius Caesar, et cetera) are omitted in favor of maintaining the stream of consciousness and the mysterious stream of events.

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This article has 6 comments.


on Jul. 25 2012 at 12:28 pm
loveisntreal GOLD, Arcata, California
19 articles 0 photos 51 comments

Favorite Quote:
"you live what you've learned." -linkin park

you did a really good job! i love how creative your peice is. for some reason it made me think of king arthur and midevil times a little bit, is that what its about? i really dont have any corrections or anything like that. you did a really good job, keep up the good work!  and i will be sure to take your advice and use it, thanks!:)

RobbieM BRONZE said...
on Jul. 20 2012 at 4:10 pm
RobbieM BRONZE, Tampa, Florida
1 article 0 photos 4 comments
This poem of mine in particular is full of tiny but meaningful phrases (I spent quite a bit of time on that :D), but I had no idea that "cellar door" is considered one of the most beautiful terms in terms of phonaesthetics--Interesting addition of info! Thanks :D

Matt27 SILVER said...
on Jul. 20 2012 at 1:52 pm
Matt27 SILVER, Englewood, Colorado
8 articles 0 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Outsiders who see rules and not the love that runs through them are often too ready to label other people as 'prisoners'." -Iris Murdoch in The Sea, The Sea

This is an amazing poem. You have inspired me to delve deeper into T.S. Eliot. I love your word choice, not only do the words fit but they point towards intellect. This is a little off topic but I wonder if you were aware of the aesthetic merit that the word combination of 'cellar door' is said to have.

RobbieM BRONZE said...
on Jul. 19 2012 at 5:48 pm
RobbieM BRONZE, Tampa, Florida
1 article 0 photos 4 comments
Thanks a lot!  It was my first poem published on this site so I was quite happy to receive editor's choice :D

on Jul. 19 2012 at 1:22 pm
thetruthawaits94 SILVER, Duncan, Oklahoma
9 articles 0 photos 351 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain.

oh! Editor's choice! Congratulations! :)

on Jul. 19 2012 at 1:21 pm
thetruthawaits94 SILVER, Duncan, Oklahoma
9 articles 0 photos 351 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain.

Wow! This poem is phenomonally written! I love the quotations. It makes your poem really unique, and well rounded! Your vocabulary and word choice is astounding. Some words I am not shy to say escape me  in their meaning - okay, not really, I had to look up the word maisma, but that's it - but just the overall feel the words gave made this poem sound really.. smart. And professional. I enjoyed the story, as well. Keep it up! I want to read more of your work!